Today in the real world...

Here's a sad fact about Erin's life - Erin prefers MySpace and naptime dreaming to real life... it's much more entertaining to Erin and so she is concluding that this convoluted combination of celebrities and weird occurances shall henceforth be known as "real life."

Today, in real life, some dude sent me this e-mail:

"House the weekend treating today?"

I really didn't know how to respond.

Today, also in real life, I went to Miriam's new apartment inside a Dave & Buster's styled apartment building on a cliff overlooking the beach. The outside of her studio had TV screens on it playing various music videos around the clock. We had to ride an escalater to get to the room and hanging above the escalator, if you looked towards the ceiling, there was a hanging word cut-out that said "The Heavens"... so that if you looked up while ascending you would notice that you were quickly approaching "The Heavens."

Suddenly Miriam turned into the little girl from Matilda



and she unwrapped a chocolate bar to discover a golden ticket



Suddenly I was her "Grandpa Joe" and was trying to coax her to hide the ticket in her shoe but a "bad man" saw her about to do it so I pushed her into a secret corner next to the escalator at which point I turned into a crazed-white-haired-white-eyeballed-old-she-creature and scared the shit out of her.



But then the eyeballs turned from white to normal and I was ... suddenly ... that chick that dated Ross for a minute and a half on Friends... at which point I was like all cool and "Honey, why are you screaming?"




YESTERDAY, in real life, I was a young CSI lab assistant



who had discovered that the crimes we were researching were being committed by a mummy-man who could disolve into dust at will. However, I was trying to avoid stepping on the toes of my older sister (and full CSI detective) who was really the one on the case.



I knew how to stop him though... I just had to hide near his lair (which was located in a cave-like sewer connection which you could exit and enter from the side of my house) and spray him with the hose when he came near. This would make his dust wet and he couldn't fly away so freely. Eventually we were tackling his muddy body.... but I woke up before the resolution. Obviously we were only CSI's with little to no training in mummy curse removal so I doubt we won the day.