Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Sunday, May 27, 2007

The best laid plans...

Currently I'm taking an interface design class in which we were asked to find some websites that needed revamping and then focus on one and redesign it. Since Juliette's "Whistle Stop Cafe" site was in desperate need of a little TLC I chose to give it a makeover. Well - on the very day that I finished my final revisions for the class I went to the WSC site to find that ... THEY'D MADE IT OVER THEMSELVES!

Gah! Well - good job WSC for recognizing that you needed an update and some professional treatment. There are some great new photos in their photo section too.

Here's their new site: http://www.thewhistlestopcafe.com/index.php

And here's the revamp I did in my interface class: http://www.nevarflow.com/interface/wsc/

Monday, May 07, 2007

Dell Part Three

Just to keep you abreast...

1) I e-mailed Katie about the royal suckfest.
2) I called to order a new computer and fought with three different sales reps about whether or not they could sell it with XP Pro. (Basically they have no checkbox on their order form... and that renders them powerless. So even though the return reps and the tech reps said they do it... they won't do it.) Fin Raziel is now just a pipe dream.....
3) I'm now researching Alienware but they have HORRIBLE customer service reviews all over the net AND.... turns out they're owned by Dell so that's not a big surprise now, is it? But I can order it built with XP!
4) Maybe Gateway? I have no experience with Gateway but I can't find any horribly negative reviews. (I can't really find any reviews of the one I would get, the Gateway FX530, anywhere.)
5) Vista or no Vista? I still don't know.
6) But the Alienware computer comes with fancy fancy light up things and I like the light up things.... of course the Alienware computer is like a million dollars for the fancy light up things. And they're owned by pesky Dell!

Incarnations and Cosmic Tests (Dell Part Two)

It's officially over between Katie (my Dell representative) and I. After her consistent refusal to answer or return my calls I gave up and began harassing other Dell representatives.

First my computer came sans TV Tuner. Then the TV Tuner came and I was required to pop it in myself. (I decided to just do it because I was annoyed... it wasn't that I couldn't ... it was the PRINCIPLE OF THE THING!)

So I had about a good hour of play with my Vista machine (which, by the way, I decided to name "Fin Raziel") (Though later I smacked my head and said... "Duh... Falcor was white!" Though in the end Fin Raziel turns out to be the more appropriate name.) before I installed the tuner. I wanted to make sure everything functioned and turned on. I played with that sidebar thing and the flippy window thing and the cool bubble screensaver and attempted to learn some of the ways of the new Documents folder and what not. Then I shut'er down to do my install.

Meanwhile, ex-phone-friend Katie, e-mailed me back regarding the tuner and said "oh it's just a simple little usb thing - plug it in and enjoy!" Idiot. They are PCI cards.

It seemingly went well but I did have some difficulty loading the software because either the software didn't like Vista or vice versa.

Day 2 - the machine won't recognize anything plugged into the firewire ports... or the USB ports for that matter. Actually to be more specific it won't recognize any of my external hard drives or thumb drives.

So I called Dell tech support and reached a dude named Charles.... who sounded EXACTLY like my techy friend Charles. I was about to have "omg that's so weird!" phone reunion with Charles but when I told him my full name he had no reaction so I decided that it was not ... in fact ... my friend Charles.

Oh and by now Fin Raziel was not shutting down properly... she'd just kinda hang there.

Anyway Charles was stumped but we did some safe mode booting to try to solve problems and then I clicked restart and went to class. Six hours later I returned and the girl was still trying to restart. Poor thing.

SO I called Dell again and reached my new best friend (who we shall call "Romano") in India. At first I was like "oh god... the Indians!" but now, dear friend, I have new respect for the Indian male. (Who I had previously pretty much disliked across the board.) (Also last week I had some Indian food for the first time so I'm broadening my cultural acceptance.) Romano took over my computer remotely (after a lot of my frustrated heavy sighs and my protestations of "it won't shut down right" "it won't let me install things") and attempted some magic and then he restarted. I warned him about the long restart time but he suggested we wait... so we waited... and waited... and finally Romano got a little bored and we had a nice little chat...

Romano: So.... you ever been to India?
Me: Nope. You ever been to L.A.?
Romano: Nope... but I really want to go to Hollywood one day!
Me: Eh. It's nothing special. It's more of a concept. Burbank is where they make the movies.
Romano: Oooh but do you run into celebrities all the time?
Me: Well not ALL the time. But sometimes. You know... like when you go to red carpet openings and stuff.
Romano: Ooooh but have you ever seen Keanu Reeves?!?! I really love Keanu Reeves!!
Me: Hehe... no. I'm not sure if even lives here.
Romano: How about Triple X? I forget his name..... oooh Vin Diesel!? Have you seen Vin Diesel?? I love Vin Diesel and all of his tattoos.
Me: Nope. But when he's not in those movies he seems a lot less tough.
Romano: Is the computer starting yet?
Me: Nope.
Romano: Have you seen any of our Bollywood movies?
Me: Uhhh.... I think one. Kama Sutra?? And something about Fire... Fire and Ice... does that sound right? (I have no idea what I was talking about.)
(in my head I was thinking "that horrifying Indian thriller music video.. I wonder if that counts")
Romano: Has it started yet?
Me: Nope
Romano: Welllll.... I shouldn't be telling you this but Dell has a return policy and you should just send this computer back and ask for a new one since this doesn't work. Call them from a different phone number and DON'T tell them I told you this!
Me: Well OK!

So I learned a lesson... don't judge a book by it's Indian accent.

However this lesson was soon dashed when dealing with the Indian Dell women the next day that just do NOT listen.

And actually what my best bud Romano told me was not a secret.. it was on my paperwork. I think maybe he just gave me a shortcut phone number which in the end didn't matter because I kept getting routed through fifteen departments because of the stupid "employee purchase" thing we somehow got in the first place.

So long story short: No one really knows what my computer's problem was. I set up an exchange for the same computer - just a new one that works. THEN I went into the Dell forums and learned from some people in there that my computer never should have been built the way it was because a TV Tuner, a floppy drive and Vista were NEVER going to work together. So then I had to talk to fifteen different people at Dell to try to change the exchange but they couldn't do that so the exchange turned into a return and they picked Fin Raziel up on Monday. NOW I have to order a brand new computer as if the first didn't exist and get it with Windows XP just to be sure that all my external drives will actually function with it.

Though tech number 15 that I talked to said that he'd just gotten a memo that Microsoft was going to stop supporting XP within a year. But anyway... so no new Vista for me it seems. But at least I'll be out of the cycle of needing a computer right when the latest buggy OS comes out.

To add insult to injury the remote control for the TV Tuner arrived today.

I'm still debating whether or not to send Katie a "you stupid!" e-mail... at least filling her in on the order being a royal suckfest.

But then I NEVER have luck with internet retail orders. It's like some sort of cosmic test... learning how to handle retail conflict.

(NOTE: "Fin Raziel" (from "Willow") was a powerful witch but it took her a few tries before she could get into the swing of things.)

Creatures Feature Me

I feel like creatures are inside of me. How to explain..... it's as if there is a very thin crusty beige being that sits in my intestine and occasionally stretches out into my stomach and then further into my esophagus. Sometimes the crusty thing curls up on my heart so there is a constant backflow of acid... sometimes the creature (or creatures) just sit in my belly. (Sit. In. Ma. Bellay!) (That was my written Scottish accent.)



This stick bug is how I envision the digestive creature.

Dr. Latin-word-for-truth, my holistic chiropractor, told me a few sessions ago that I had "something wrong with my valves." They were blocking energy or something and possibly holding up the whole healing process around my lower back.... because well my belly (and the valves therein) is on the front side of my lower back.

Soooo she asked me to bring in some food samples so she could do some tests to see if I had any food-related issues. I brought in three items that I thought could potentially be causing my persistent and annoying "tummy trouble." I brought a Coke for the caffeine, a creamer for the dairy and a little sample of Grape Nuts. (Because I like them but afterwards I always have a stomach ache.)

Well after some "I'll put a sample of something on your tongue and then test your muscle and organ responses" holistic tests (basically it's applied kinesiology) I was unable to resist pressure after the Grape Nuts but just fine with the Coke and the creamer. (The Coke and The Creamer... good name for a band!) So Dr. Latin-word-for-truth tested me specifically for wheat and, as a friend phrased it, wheat is my Kryptonite! If you put wheat on me... you'll win the fight. (Put air on me and you'll win the fight.)

So the good doc sent me home to do homework (namely, look up "wheat allergies" and "gluten free" products and "Celiac disease" which is apparently more common in the Irish.. of which I'm a good quarter) and told me not to eat wheat for 48 hours (or to try and stay away from anything flour based for safety) (which I screwed up) and then to try and cut down. (Oh and with the good suggestion that I should actually get medically tested for it since... she couldn't ACTUALLY tell me if I was allergic to wheat.) (The problem being that I have no insurance.) (Otherwise I would have had ten allergy tests by now - being the hypochondriac that I am.)

Well now my problem (now that I've embraced that I'm diseased) is that I'm not eating anything flour-based... but I think when I am possibly assuming that something doesn't have wheat in it and I eat it by mistake... then my daily stomach ache is worse than normal.

The other problem being that if I REALLY AM allergic (or sensitive to or whatever...) to wheat... then I have to become THAT person. Ugh! I hate grocery shopping. I hate grocery shopping at THOSE stores even more. Those stores with their snooty organic/vegan/soy/you-better-not-say-you-want-a-plastic-bag attitudes. I have to be THAT person who says "Oh I'm sorry... does that have wheat in it? Because I'll have to instead enjoy this tasty flourless cake." (In reality... I will soooo feed on this special attention.) (And I'm just teasing... my dear vegan and non-cheese-eating friends.)

If I am allergic to the gluten/wheat dealio... this might also explain why I get severe jaw pain whenever I drink a fine malted-beverage... such as my beloved Ace Perry Ciders. It's like 25 pins suddenly stabbing me in various areas along my jawline. Up until now I've been theoretically blaming it on sulfites.

I've begun practicing ... I went and bought some WHEAT-FREE/GLUTEN-FREE products at Whole Foods. I got some Made-With-Rice-Mac & Cheese, some Made-With-Rice-Flour-Tortillas, some Made-With-Rice-Bread (which is sooooo not good) and some Made-With-Rice-Spaghetti.

This morning I stared forlornly at churros and consoled myself with some of that sweet-corn stuff at El Torito.

But still this creature is sitting inside of me. Thinking back.... I actually can't remember when I haven't had some sort of stomach ache. Well logically I must have not had a stomach ache because if I always did then I wouldn't know it was aching... since that would be normal. But I always had some excuse like "Oh I ate before I went to bed," or "I slept in too late." Now I just sorta always assumed that if you slept too long... or too late.. you ended up with a stomach ache. Is that not true?

Later I decided I had some of that Irritable Bowel Syndrome... but symptoms were not consistent. I instead decided it was the Calcium Chews causing me the mock-IBS. (Which is why I had the chiropractor test me for dairy.) When I stopped eating the Chews... I stopped having some problems (which we will not go into though I am now permanently subscribed to an entertaining newsletter from a silly yet very serious website).





Edgar! I feel like Edgar (Vincent D'Onofrio) in Men in Black... there's a bug inside of me wearing an Erin suit. Ugh.

Oh and the OTHER thing is that I have NEVER heard of this before yet every time I bring it up somebody is like "Oh that's so common! They totally sell gluten-free stuff. Elisabeth Hasselbeck has that."

But thank GOD it's not a dairy issue! How could I live without my sour cream and cheese?


Friday, May 04, 2007

Houseguest

Yesterday I found this little lovely being swatted at by my cat in the dining room.



I rescued him from the paws of my curious cat and begged him not to drop his tail but.... he did. And that was gross. And then his little stumpy tail bled on me. Eww.





What does one do with a discarded living tail? I threw it outside into the dirt... it's still there. Should I bury it?



After a few moments of anger and hissing I believe Mr. (or Ms.) Lizard realized that I was just a juvenile dork that wanted to play with him and take pictures. He (she) was actually a great little poser... he/she knew exactly where to look!



I considered keeping him/her as a pet (and an Internet friend for Heidi's lizard) since I've always wanted a lizard (though specifically I always ask for an Iguana) and this one was FREEEEEE but I realized that I had NO IDEA what to feed him. So I figured he was better off outside than inside in some box I was about to poke holes in and I let him go in the yard.


I've seen lizards in the yard before... but our little area isn't much for wildlife. Though there are a lot of opossums around and a few months ago I saw a raccoon. I wonder if this little lizard was THE lizard that I've seen before or one of many. Anyway... he's outside again. Nobody knows how he got INSIDE as the cat was asleep all day and the lizard woke him up.