The D.A. (Dumbledore's Army?)

I finally decided to join the D.A. I'd thought about it before but I always thought you had to be reeeealllly good. Apparently - this is not the case. Apparently I am good enough. Also - I didn't know you could submit writing stuff!! News to me!

So after Mert sent me his gallery I decided to throw a load of stuff at a page of my own.

I now have a decent "gallery" set-up and you can view some of my artsy riff raff at DEVIANT ART. Erin's "Showing"

Almost Famous

Keep your eyes here and at this website, www.Shree.TV, and be on the lookout for my acting debut. Papa John and I have cameos (if we weren't edited out) in "Trailer Trash Diaries"

Deep Thoughts

I am yet again reminded (I constantly remind myself) to not apply for jobs that I'm not interested in. Inevitably - they are always the ones that call me back. Why? I don't know. It's annoying. Today New Line Cinema called - YAY! For the legal affairs assistant job - BOO! I decided to turn down the interview. (I know I know!!! But stuck drafting legal briefs and acting as a lawyer's "gatekeeper" sounded like slow death. Why even interview? With my luck, I'd get it.)

So I housesit again - as my current main source of income. Which is really nothing.

But the perks of this particular assignment is the chihuahua that adores me (I'm the cool babysitter) and the water conservation lake he lives next to. We walk a path around this prairie-like landscape by the water's edge twice a day.

Many thoughts occur to me during this walk. One of them is, "This is totally like some place at the beginning of Law & Order where some jogger and her dog stumble across a corpse."

And today, "Is a duck happier in the water or in the air? They're equally at home in both. Do they get teased by other birds for sitting in the water all day - because you have to admit, that's kind of odd. Are there 'funny because it's true' bird ethnic jokes? Do species regard their close cousins as 'races'? Penguins, ducks, nightingales, crows, seagulls - do they each have a stereotype? I hate baboons because they have harems."

Well anyway - next week I'm off to to the EAST! (Wagons, ho!)

AintJaMama makes me giggle

Hearts & Hospitals

Last week my dad had a heart valve replacement surgery (they took at his aortic valve and replaced it with a cow's). The surgery went super fast, he recovered at an average pace (and I spent most of the last week at the hospital) and today he's already back home. (This is now the 4th time I've been hanging out at hospitals during surgeries or procedures this year! The last one being Queen Barb's tummy tuck.)

I've suggested that he pass out candy while shirtless - showing off his brand new bone-saw wound and scaring the kiddies... but he's a quiet, passive man... and he doesn't play along on Halloween! But just in case I snagged two of those sticky snap things that they put on your chest to monitor your heart and stuff... I figure he can put them on his neck as faux bolts a la Frankenstein's monster.

But in all seriousness - I'm glad he's home now. Hospitals have a way of taking all of your dignity away. First of all - you're walking around in a loose-fitting dress showing off all of your whozits to whoeverthehell. Second - everyone talks to you like you're a baby.

When the pediatrician said to me (at 13), "Next time we'll take a look at your tummy!" I spit on doctors and never returned! (Until I had pneumonia at 22... and the doctor said, "If you were any older, you might be dead." The only reason I hadn't resigned to being completely bedridden was because my girlfriend was saying, "You don't have pneumonia, you hypochondriac wussy! Walk it off!!" Then when she discovered that her dad had pneumonia... and she hadn't been feeling real well... that she actually had pneumonia and was giving it to everybody!! Then she called and said, "Oh shit! Go to a doctor!" Also, I'd just started my sound designing internship with the Oscar award winning sound guy.... and I thought I better keep showing up to work. Inability to breathe or not!)

Anyway - back on topic - I hate hospitals! And most doctors!

And especially nurses who don't give a shit and talk down to grown adults and say things like, "Did you make a poo poo today?"

Fuckers.

After a few days in we had to pack a "flavor kit" for my dad because the food sucked so bad. (Of course, he's 75 and has lost most of his taste buds anyway... so he likes his stuff spicy.) We brought him horseradish, tobasco, mustard, syrup, peanut butter (which was key), brown sugar and salsa. I think I'll pack a kit of things to bring to me if I should ever be in a hospital. Or at least pre-plan it. First and foremost - UNDERFUCKINGWEAR!! Several pairs, actually. Good solid tempurpedic style pillows. A warm blanket (it was FuhReezing there!). A toothbrush and toothpaste. Contact lens solution/glasses/etc. A book. In my flavor kit: Sour cream, cheddar cheese, parmesan cheese, ketchup, peanut butter (creamy).

Some might say that I overplan. You should see me when I travel - I always have a "worst case scenario" section of my luggage/backpack.

But back to Dad... I appealed to all the appropriate dead people and requested that he be OK and so far so good.

Jesus H.

What does Jesus say to you?

To me, Jesus says, "Do not smile at ginger people, they cry inside. "

(Post what Jesus says in the comments.)

October

Halloween is coming!

(I'm working on some potential costume concepts.)