My idea!!! Don't steal it!!!
All I really came up with, however, was the title. My friend Jeff has been plotting out characters and scenarios for the Lesbionic Woman - thus his name is first on this fake comic cover. The original picture was of Clea Duvall on the cover of "Glue" magazine. We had to turn in a "Rough Draft" of an idea for our Image Manipulation class midterm. So the real midterm assignment will probably look nothing like this.
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Friday, April 21, 2006
Don't Steal My Soul
What do you do with a friend whose response to "Will you model for some pictures for me?" is "Only if you let me put a paper bag over my head!" ??
You take them up on it!
So this is the "Don't Steal My Soul" series. Hahaha... part of a "technical" camera assignment that I messed up anyway. (The non-paperbag pictures are the ones that I'll be turning in... these are just for kicks now.)
You take them up on it!
So this is the "Don't Steal My Soul" series. Hahaha... part of a "technical" camera assignment that I messed up anyway. (The non-paperbag pictures are the ones that I'll be turning in... these are just for kicks now.)
Monday, April 17, 2006
Little Wooden Goody Album
ALSO part of the 2nd Assignment in Image Manipulation class (we just had to work on two images). This is my friend Nicole and a pseudo album cover.
LaurasTangledKnots
2nd Assignment - practice using cut and move and erase and etc.
(This is my friend Laura and some of her tattoos.)
(This is my friend Laura and some of her tattoos.)
MulletsGetChicks
My first "painting" for Image Manipulation class. (I made this for Taysha... so it's in a style that I think T would appreciate.. and it is in reference to a guy with a mullet that she blogged about once.)
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
Oops
OH yeah! In this blog I also never mentioned that I was accepted as a member of GLAAD's film nomination committee! This means I get to watch tons of gay movies this year and then score them based on impact/quality/plus more and then when it comes time for the fancy award ceremony - I'll get comp tickets. This also means monthly meetings and arguments with strangers about why I gave movies like V FOR VENDETTA such high scores. (We haven't had this meeting yet but I did give V high scores!)
First Day and Ro Ro
Today was my first day of school! Did I mention I was going back to school?? I've been pondering it for several years and even sorta "began" the program at the local community college but never could I find one of those career art colleges that would let me out of the Gen Eds until now. The Art Institute of L.A. is my new home where I'll be an Interactive Media Design major (they lovingly cancelled out all of my general education requirements by transfering in my college credits) ... hopefully learning flash and computer fancy design such that I can incorporate my storytelling need with some fancy graphic style.
I took Color Theory in the morning... Intro to Design in the afternoon. I was warned during Orientation (oh btw that was hella lame ... lame enough to make me say "hella") that the first quarter or so would be like "Art Bootcamp" and thus it was.
From 7:30am to 8:00am we needed to come up with a set of colored pencils and sharpen them pronto. The drill seargent... er... teacher than came around to poke us with them to see if they were sharp enough. I, in my panic, sharpened and broke and sharpened and broke my lame ass black pencil until it was half the size of all the others. OK... so he didn't actually poke me and he turned out pretty funny but... still. With that kind of warning you think you're in for trouble.
We then prepared to color in our color wheel "with perfection" ... no streaks allowed. The teacher laid out the colors that were in our set that we had that corresponded to the color wheel - things like "blue-violet" and "yellow-green" - telling us that since we had those two we wouldn't have to mix them. Of course I promptly forgot his terminology so when he came by my desk while I was stupidly coloring in the "yellow-green" with yellow and green and said, "You own that color," I mistook it as a "good work" and thought, "Fuck yeah! I so own this color!" And being modest about "owning" that yellow-green I responded, "Huh?" To which he responded, "that pencil is in your box." Oh. Yeah. Shit....
Then, during my break, it was back and forth and back and forth with my huge ass "Kit" which I vowed I would not be the stupid freshman carrying around but did it anyway ... while I checked on whether or not I passed the Computer Applications "test out" (please!), bought colored pencils, returned drawing board, went to pick up my ID, was re-directed to a different place to pick up my ID, learned that they mis-printed my ID, got a new ID, went back to the other place to get the "Spring 06" sticker... all the while texting Evil Monica that her stupid school sucked balls while she "Ha!" ed at me in response ... encountered Sneaky Sneaky Holly in the midst of ID drama while then half-tripping down the hall over the stupid rolling "Kit" and stabbing numerous people with the T-Square and 36" ruler that don't quite "fit" in the "Kit" as I passed them by...grabbed a tuna melt from the catering truck (there's nothing quite like a tuna melt to make me feel like I'm back in school)...returned to my car to eat my tuna melt in a state of momentary peace and then attempted to wrestle stupid "Kit", bag AND umbrella (cuz it was now raining) back to class 2.. Intro to Design.. where I was instructed to draw lines.
Huh? Lines?
Yes - lines. Now go!
Then THAT teacher roamed around saying things like "don't smudge" and "tape pennies to the under side of your ruler so you don't smudge " and "cover your work with paper so you don't smudge" and "wash your hands every once in a while so you don't smudge".... putting me in my such a smudge panicked state that I ... you guessed it... smudged! She also said things like "make some different weights' and "all your negative space looks the same" ... etc. etc. I finally just drew lines up the wazoo until she said "Good." "Now you're getting it!" I'm not sure what I got other than a bunch of criss-crossed lines. But apparently its good design. :)
Next class is on Friday ... but I still need a fourth. I might end up with just three. We'll see how much I can handle anyway.
SECRETLY (not anymore) I think that I just started school as a FUCK YOU to the psychic who told me back in November that I "should not go to college" because I couldn't handle it. Back then I was like, "Huh? But I already went to college and have a fancy degree!" And she was like, "Oh shit. Umm... Wow. I guess you can handle something when you put your mind to it. Meanwhile - I say work with animals!"
After school was my first "perk" screening relating to the GLAAD Film Nom committee. I got to see "All Aboard: Rosie's Big Gay Cruise" (or whatever its proper name is) for free. (Some of you are saying, "Uh... that's going to be on HBO. Big whoopiedoo!") Well it was a screening WITH Rosie and Kelli O'Donnell and some of the featured people from the documentary (which is about a cruise for gay families). That was good and interesting... I'm not going to give it points as high as I gave V FOR VENDETTA (31 out of 40) but it'll still grade high in "impact." Two things I was distracted by... 1) One of the daughters and her two dads that was heavily featured in the doc was ALSO heavily featured in the "MTV True Life: I Have Gay Parents" video I had to watch... so I was like "Get this overexposed bitch off the damn screen!"
2) ... And I'm the biggest geek on the damn planet here... throughout the ENTIRE movie I was like, "What the fuck is this score? I KNOW this score! This score is so Mary Stuart Masterson!!" until they finally belted out Scarlett's "Independent Love Song" and I was like, "Fuckin' A!! Bed of Roses??!?!?! Did they just put the score CD on play while they mixed???!??!" Later I told Miriam (who I mistakenly took as a date because she wanted to see Ro) ... "Jesus! I'm surprised Jann Arden's "Insensitive" wasn't playing!!" (SO for this I will probably give them lower points on "quality" since they are dirty dirty score thieves.)
Next week is KINKY BOOTS!
The funny sidenote is that I told my Godmom that I was on a film nomination committee and needed to see movies from time to time and her response was, "Well I'm home with nothing to do! Take me with you." Of course I neglected to fill her in on the whole "gay" movies thing.... so I figure I can take her to the more mainstream movies on our list of things to watch. Sooooo.... the next mainstream movie on our list of things to watch is BASIC INSTINCT 2.
I took Color Theory in the morning... Intro to Design in the afternoon. I was warned during Orientation (oh btw that was hella lame ... lame enough to make me say "hella") that the first quarter or so would be like "Art Bootcamp" and thus it was.
From 7:30am to 8:00am we needed to come up with a set of colored pencils and sharpen them pronto. The drill seargent... er... teacher than came around to poke us with them to see if they were sharp enough. I, in my panic, sharpened and broke and sharpened and broke my lame ass black pencil until it was half the size of all the others. OK... so he didn't actually poke me and he turned out pretty funny but... still. With that kind of warning you think you're in for trouble.
We then prepared to color in our color wheel "with perfection" ... no streaks allowed. The teacher laid out the colors that were in our set that we had that corresponded to the color wheel - things like "blue-violet" and "yellow-green" - telling us that since we had those two we wouldn't have to mix them. Of course I promptly forgot his terminology so when he came by my desk while I was stupidly coloring in the "yellow-green" with yellow and green and said, "You own that color," I mistook it as a "good work" and thought, "Fuck yeah! I so own this color!" And being modest about "owning" that yellow-green I responded, "Huh?" To which he responded, "that pencil is in your box." Oh. Yeah. Shit....
Then, during my break, it was back and forth and back and forth with my huge ass "Kit" which I vowed I would not be the stupid freshman carrying around but did it anyway ... while I checked on whether or not I passed the Computer Applications "test out" (please!), bought colored pencils, returned drawing board, went to pick up my ID, was re-directed to a different place to pick up my ID, learned that they mis-printed my ID, got a new ID, went back to the other place to get the "Spring 06" sticker... all the while texting Evil Monica that her stupid school sucked balls while she "Ha!" ed at me in response ... encountered Sneaky Sneaky Holly in the midst of ID drama while then half-tripping down the hall over the stupid rolling "Kit" and stabbing numerous people with the T-Square and 36" ruler that don't quite "fit" in the "Kit" as I passed them by...grabbed a tuna melt from the catering truck (there's nothing quite like a tuna melt to make me feel like I'm back in school)...returned to my car to eat my tuna melt in a state of momentary peace and then attempted to wrestle stupid "Kit", bag AND umbrella (cuz it was now raining) back to class 2.. Intro to Design.. where I was instructed to draw lines.
Huh? Lines?
Yes - lines. Now go!
Then THAT teacher roamed around saying things like "don't smudge" and "tape pennies to the under side of your ruler so you don't smudge " and "cover your work with paper so you don't smudge" and "wash your hands every once in a while so you don't smudge".... putting me in my such a smudge panicked state that I ... you guessed it... smudged! She also said things like "make some different weights' and "all your negative space looks the same" ... etc. etc. I finally just drew lines up the wazoo until she said "Good." "Now you're getting it!" I'm not sure what I got other than a bunch of criss-crossed lines. But apparently its good design. :)
Next class is on Friday ... but I still need a fourth. I might end up with just three. We'll see how much I can handle anyway.
SECRETLY (not anymore) I think that I just started school as a FUCK YOU to the psychic who told me back in November that I "should not go to college" because I couldn't handle it. Back then I was like, "Huh? But I already went to college and have a fancy degree!" And she was like, "Oh shit. Umm... Wow. I guess you can handle something when you put your mind to it. Meanwhile - I say work with animals!"
After school was my first "perk" screening relating to the GLAAD Film Nom committee. I got to see "All Aboard: Rosie's Big Gay Cruise" (or whatever its proper name is) for free. (Some of you are saying, "Uh... that's going to be on HBO. Big whoopiedoo!") Well it was a screening WITH Rosie and Kelli O'Donnell and some of the featured people from the documentary (which is about a cruise for gay families). That was good and interesting... I'm not going to give it points as high as I gave V FOR VENDETTA (31 out of 40) but it'll still grade high in "impact." Two things I was distracted by... 1) One of the daughters and her two dads that was heavily featured in the doc was ALSO heavily featured in the "MTV True Life: I Have Gay Parents" video I had to watch... so I was like "Get this overexposed bitch off the damn screen!"
2) ... And I'm the biggest geek on the damn planet here... throughout the ENTIRE movie I was like, "What the fuck is this score? I KNOW this score! This score is so Mary Stuart Masterson!!" until they finally belted out Scarlett's "Independent Love Song" and I was like, "Fuckin' A!! Bed of Roses??!?!?! Did they just put the score CD on play while they mixed???!??!" Later I told Miriam (who I mistakenly took as a date because she wanted to see Ro) ... "Jesus! I'm surprised Jann Arden's "Insensitive" wasn't playing!!" (SO for this I will probably give them lower points on "quality" since they are dirty dirty score thieves.)
Next week is KINKY BOOTS!
The funny sidenote is that I told my Godmom that I was on a film nomination committee and needed to see movies from time to time and her response was, "Well I'm home with nothing to do! Take me with you." Of course I neglected to fill her in on the whole "gay" movies thing.... so I figure I can take her to the more mainstream movies on our list of things to watch. Sooooo.... the next mainstream movie on our list of things to watch is BASIC INSTINCT 2.
In the land of Passive Agressiva...
I've decided to be more and more annoyed by my job. I don't know how I keep ending up with bosses that I have no respect for! (Oh... wait... I have a problem with authority... that's right!)
I hoped that starting school would get me out of this job by default but AndreaGotAnAche BEGGED me to continue working there and offered to work around WHATEVER schedule I could possibly have. UGHHHHH!! I started there with at least some delusion that somehow it was still copywriting but now Andrea writes ALL of the ad copy and I'm really just the "EBay TurboLister" girl! Plus the bickering is just god-awful.
Did I mention that I told Andrea I planned on supplementing my income by bringing in a "cuss jar"? She took this as my passive agressive suggestion (since that's the language she knows) that she cuss less or at least apologize when she does it... really I was just trying to be funny. I've decided she doesn't get humor.
For example - yesterday (while admittedly frustrated with the bickering in the background, the continued cussing and the frazzled Andrea boss that always comes in mid-sentence and then gets distracted) I said to her (while she was putting on her glasses and peering over my shoulder at the old e-mail I was attempting to sort and delete since she cannot grasp the concept that she is not allowed to use the online webmail site she has for our business) jokingly, "I hate it when you look over my shoulder!"
(OK... so I'm that girl that pretends to joke about real annoyances like, "Ha ha! You didn't pay your bills again and creditors are calling! Ha! .... What? I was totally kidding. Did you not pay your bills and those ARE creditors calling?? I had no idea!")
Anyway .. alright so I'm passive agressive too! What of it?!?
Continuing with our story.... for the REST of the day she made extra efforts to NOT look over my shoulder and commentated.
"Oh is it alright if I sit on this stool sideways and look in a direction other than towards the computer?"
"I would look in your direction but my eyes might accidentally drift over your shoulder."
"I appear to be looking over your shoulder but really my glasses aren't on so I'm actually not."
I finally shouted "ENOUGH WOMAN!" (This is true.) And tried to explain that my frustrated "I hate it when you look over my shoulder" was really my effort at looking out for her and the job by attempting to keep her on track and not distract her. (All lies.)
UGHHHHHH!!
In epilogue to this particular tale - she's requested that Pat take a week off because "she's been in a mood" and "she gets so angry" and "I don't know what's going on with her" .... uhhhh... DUH! Passive Pat is ready to blow at Andrea everytime she sees her because of all Andrea's backwards P.A. shit. Wouldn't you?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I realize that I never bothered to explain why I sometimes refer to the "Lesbian Bosses" as "AndreaGotAnAche" and "PatGotAGuy" so here's why (and I will use "Katchoo" to illustrate even though this is a great insult to Katchoo):
AndreaGotAnAche (Picture as the above yet with frumpier clothing, older and with more smoke surrounding her body.)
Andrea is somewhere in her fifties and has apparently been suffering from years of no heath insurance... and righteous indignation. She'd rather complain than get anything checked out. Well ... I take that back. She's had stuff apparently checked out enough to know that its all a mess but hasn't had the finances or capabilities or Whatever to do anything about it.
She'd rather, in the end, be right. Her complaining is a security blanket she holds on to - my best guess. So the day is usually filled with shouts of "I shouldn't lift this but Oh Well! OW OW OW OW OW OW!!" Then she comes in to tell me about it. "See this thumb? It doesn't rotate! I can't bend it this way. I woke up at 4 in the morning with my thumb frozen in this position." OW OW OW OW "See my thumb doesn't rotate." OW "I think it was because I used to play professional level golf (Gay!) and my trainer used to jam my thumbs around the club." OUCH OUCHIE "See... I think its really screwed up today!"
Next Day
OOOCH OOCH OW!! "See the discs in my neck are trashed. I can't turn my head this way." OW OW OW GOD DAMNIT PAT YOU KNOW I CAN'T LIFT THAT "Y'see I keep telling Pat that my back is really trashed but Oh Well!" Etc. Etc. All Day Long
I ignore her. She'll just come to me to tell me what part of her is "trashed" anyway. The other day they were talking to me about how they were thinking about getting AFLAC and how they probably needed the cancer coverage due to their profuse smoking. *CACKLE LAUGH*
Dude - that's not funny.
PatGotAGuy (She's the blonde Katchoo in the background here - except without the paint and the sexy good looks. Also add a baseball cap.)
Pat (a.k.a. "PantsWearingPat") is the quiet one. When you hear her... you know you've got a problem. This woman - I think - defines her self-worth by her network. You CANNOT have a conversation with Pat that does not lead to somebody she knows.
Example:
Pat: What's up?
Erin: Not much. Just trying to figure out what kind of car I want.
Pat: You should buy a Honda. I've got a guy that works at the Honda dealership down here in Long Beach. I'll give you his number. But if you just want to fix your car I have a mechanic that can get you the parts for cheaper.
Erin: Well...I'm pretty sure I want a Toyota.
Pat: Well I'm good friends with the fleet manager at the Toyota of North Hollwood so I can give you his number. Have you tried Costco? Because I have a member to Costco....
Erin: Uhhh.....
Yet another:
Pat: Whatcha doing?
Erin: I'm picking out designs cuz I'm gonna have a hoodie made.
Pat: Well I've got a guy that does excellent embroidery. I'll give you his number.
Erin: Well I want this hoodie and they do the stiching and the...
Pat: Oh well I know all the great places to get discount clothes. Long on to LandsEnd.com and look in in their clearance section and then buy a sweatshirt from them and we'll take it to my guy who does the embroidery.
Pat's Got a Guy for every possible conversation you can start. (Nevermind that in both of these scenerios she walked in on me doing something other than work.)
And now you know!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The other day I almost laughed aloud when Andrea handed me a minty sticky thing and said, "Do you sometimes get aches? Cuz this thing is amazing - you just stick it on and its like Ben Gay but cheaper!"
**Thank you "Grey's Anatomy" for the line that has yet to get old - "There is a land called Passive Agressiva and you are its Queen!")**
I hoped that starting school would get me out of this job by default but AndreaGotAnAche BEGGED me to continue working there and offered to work around WHATEVER schedule I could possibly have. UGHHHHH!! I started there with at least some delusion that somehow it was still copywriting but now Andrea writes ALL of the ad copy and I'm really just the "EBay TurboLister" girl! Plus the bickering is just god-awful.
Did I mention that I told Andrea I planned on supplementing my income by bringing in a "cuss jar"? She took this as my passive agressive suggestion (since that's the language she knows) that she cuss less or at least apologize when she does it... really I was just trying to be funny. I've decided she doesn't get humor.
For example - yesterday (while admittedly frustrated with the bickering in the background, the continued cussing and the frazzled Andrea boss that always comes in mid-sentence and then gets distracted) I said to her (while she was putting on her glasses and peering over my shoulder at the old e-mail I was attempting to sort and delete since she cannot grasp the concept that she is not allowed to use the online webmail site she has for our business) jokingly, "I hate it when you look over my shoulder!"
(OK... so I'm that girl that pretends to joke about real annoyances like, "Ha ha! You didn't pay your bills again and creditors are calling! Ha! .... What? I was totally kidding. Did you not pay your bills and those ARE creditors calling?? I had no idea!")
Anyway .. alright so I'm passive agressive too! What of it?!?
Continuing with our story.... for the REST of the day she made extra efforts to NOT look over my shoulder and commentated.
"Oh is it alright if I sit on this stool sideways and look in a direction other than towards the computer?"
"I would look in your direction but my eyes might accidentally drift over your shoulder."
"I appear to be looking over your shoulder but really my glasses aren't on so I'm actually not."
I finally shouted "ENOUGH WOMAN!" (This is true.) And tried to explain that my frustrated "I hate it when you look over my shoulder" was really my effort at looking out for her and the job by attempting to keep her on track and not distract her. (All lies.)
UGHHHHHH!!
In epilogue to this particular tale - she's requested that Pat take a week off because "she's been in a mood" and "she gets so angry" and "I don't know what's going on with her" .... uhhhh... DUH! Passive Pat is ready to blow at Andrea everytime she sees her because of all Andrea's backwards P.A. shit. Wouldn't you?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I realize that I never bothered to explain why I sometimes refer to the "Lesbian Bosses" as "AndreaGotAnAche" and "PatGotAGuy" so here's why (and I will use "Katchoo" to illustrate even though this is a great insult to Katchoo):
AndreaGotAnAche (Picture as the above yet with frumpier clothing, older and with more smoke surrounding her body.)
Andrea is somewhere in her fifties and has apparently been suffering from years of no heath insurance... and righteous indignation. She'd rather complain than get anything checked out. Well ... I take that back. She's had stuff apparently checked out enough to know that its all a mess but hasn't had the finances or capabilities or Whatever to do anything about it.
She'd rather, in the end, be right. Her complaining is a security blanket she holds on to - my best guess. So the day is usually filled with shouts of "I shouldn't lift this but Oh Well! OW OW OW OW OW OW!!" Then she comes in to tell me about it. "See this thumb? It doesn't rotate! I can't bend it this way. I woke up at 4 in the morning with my thumb frozen in this position." OW OW OW OW "See my thumb doesn't rotate." OW "I think it was because I used to play professional level golf (Gay!) and my trainer used to jam my thumbs around the club." OUCH OUCHIE "See... I think its really screwed up today!"
Next Day
OOOCH OOCH OW!! "See the discs in my neck are trashed. I can't turn my head this way." OW OW OW GOD DAMNIT PAT YOU KNOW I CAN'T LIFT THAT "Y'see I keep telling Pat that my back is really trashed but Oh Well!" Etc. Etc. All Day Long
I ignore her. She'll just come to me to tell me what part of her is "trashed" anyway. The other day they were talking to me about how they were thinking about getting AFLAC and how they probably needed the cancer coverage due to their profuse smoking. *CACKLE LAUGH*
Dude - that's not funny.
PatGotAGuy (She's the blonde Katchoo in the background here - except without the paint and the sexy good looks. Also add a baseball cap.)
Pat (a.k.a. "PantsWearingPat") is the quiet one. When you hear her... you know you've got a problem. This woman - I think - defines her self-worth by her network. You CANNOT have a conversation with Pat that does not lead to somebody she knows.
Example:
Pat: What's up?
Erin: Not much. Just trying to figure out what kind of car I want.
Pat: You should buy a Honda. I've got a guy that works at the Honda dealership down here in Long Beach. I'll give you his number. But if you just want to fix your car I have a mechanic that can get you the parts for cheaper.
Erin: Well...I'm pretty sure I want a Toyota.
Pat: Well I'm good friends with the fleet manager at the Toyota of North Hollwood so I can give you his number. Have you tried Costco? Because I have a member to Costco....
Erin: Uhhh.....
Yet another:
Pat: Whatcha doing?
Erin: I'm picking out designs cuz I'm gonna have a hoodie made.
Pat: Well I've got a guy that does excellent embroidery. I'll give you his number.
Erin: Well I want this hoodie and they do the stiching and the...
Pat: Oh well I know all the great places to get discount clothes. Long on to LandsEnd.com and look in in their clearance section and then buy a sweatshirt from them and we'll take it to my guy who does the embroidery.
Pat's Got a Guy for every possible conversation you can start. (Nevermind that in both of these scenerios she walked in on me doing something other than work.)
And now you know!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
The other day I almost laughed aloud when Andrea handed me a minty sticky thing and said, "Do you sometimes get aches? Cuz this thing is amazing - you just stick it on and its like Ben Gay but cheaper!"
**Thank you "Grey's Anatomy" for the line that has yet to get old - "There is a land called Passive Agressiva and you are its Queen!")**
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