Coulda Shoulda Narnia

The Chronicles of Narnia have just been released in theaters with the subtle and disguised purpose of "neener neenering" me. Actually that might be the tagline. "The Lion, the Witch and the NEENER NEENER ERIN"

Years ago I was working as the Exec Assistant to my "Hollywood Boss" for a film related company that was closing down. She was the President of said company. She was minorly well known around town. (Enough well known that when I recently approached a temp agency the interviewer said, "Wow, Hollywood Boss. She's known as a tough cookie. How well did you work with her?") (My answer, if you're curious, was "She likes my weird so we coo.")

Being a minorly well known president of a company with the past history of VPing production at a major studio .... she was approached with a lot of different opportunities for something "next."

One of the opportunities was the Chronicles of Narnia. One of the big wigs at wherever called Hollywood Boss and said "You're it. I want you to produce this film. You're perfect." She said, "Eh. I was thinking about retiring." He said, "Please. You're it." So I calendared the meeting with Andrew Adamson (the director) and she went and had her coffee meeting.

First of all - she was late. She has a late problem... pyschologically I believe it is an effort at constantly proving her importance. People wait hours for her. Second of all - she told him outright that he couldn't use a real lion. He wanted to use a real one and animate the mouth like Babe. She said no.

She said no because she used to work on Circus of the Stars and once the lions had playfully swiped at Linda Carter (a.k.a. "Wonder Woman") and Linda said, "I quit. My face is all I've got!" So HB figured lion + kids = super bad idea.

But her no-can-do attitude meant that Adamson didn't want to work with HB and so ERIN DIDN'T GET TO GO TO NEW ZEALAND TO WORK ON THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA.

In a parallel universe - maybe she was a Yes-Can-Do on time boss and I'm now super successfully working as the assistant on all the Chronicles films and transferring that wisdom and experience to future projects... eventually leading to the writing and filming of my magnum opus.

In this universe I'm writing out the ISBNs of books for two bickering potential lesbians.

(In yet ANOTHER parallel universe.. I'm still writing that Broadway musical which will lead to fame, success and Tony awards.)

(In this one I'm thrilled because the two bickering lesbians buy me Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf ice blendeds in the morning.)