Why I Hate Kids

So I was in Jiffy Lube trying not to enjoy the two little kids that were playing (a little toe-headed boy, almost two according to his mom, and a little blonde girl (just two) according to her dad). They met in the Jiffy Lube waiting room. They immediately bonded. It was obvious they were destined to grow up and fall in love and later in heaven they would rewind to this chance meeting in the Jiffy Lube waiting room when they were two and BOUNCING.

The little boy thought bouncing and jumping would be a good idea so he started jumping up and down and giggling. The little girl thought this looked like fun so she started jumping up and down too. Then they jumped while watching each other jumping up and down. Then they laughed and showed their respective parents that they were jumping up and down. Then the little boy started snorting like a pig which made everybody giggle and the girl giggle... all while jumping up and down.

Then... the little girl attempted a sideways jump towards the direction of her father, landed with one foot on the other, tripped herself and fell over. Then there was that moment ... that pause.. when you don't know if the kid is going to stand up again and continue jumping or cry. She elected to scream-cry. She also looked at the happy little boy and screamed at him with utter hatred in her voice..

"WHY DID YOU DOOOO IT??!?!?!?"

More scream-crying. The little boy stood staring at her.. stunned... obviously thinking, "WTF?"

The little girl's dad said, "Honey, you did that all by yourself. He didn't do it." But I don't believe she was convinced. Then their friendship was over. Their destiny shattered. All because she fell that two feet to the floor.

Kids... they have that power to rip out your heart with their horrible horrible hatred and pain.

The little boy and his mom eventually left. She wouldn't look at him as he attempted to say good bye. She cheered up after she left and decided to harass the other mother in the room who was breast-feeding her baby.

I continued to pretend to read the local newspaper.