Recap

So to recap my last week - there were LOTS of coincidences which led to a meeting with a woman to discuss writing the "book" (or "libretto") for a musical destined for Broadway. I have now officially submitted my spec assignment and the next time you hear from me I may be destined for the Tony's. (Or headed back to Craigslist for more job opps.)

(I just can't wait to spend my millions on luxuries like auto insurance and health coverage.)

FYI - If you were taking Bextra for your painful menstrual cycles... now there are bextra lawsuits against the drugmakers. (I'd never heard of it prior but noticed it because of my whole college Phen-Fen lawsuit drama... which really wasn't very dramatic. I mean... I got a free video tape of my heart valves! And some money... which I gave to my mother since she paid for my small appetite.)

WhatAWayToWannaBe

I can understand ties on women when its a young Avril Lavigne sorta thing but yesterday I drove by a woman (obvious by her large busoms) wearing a tucked in man's silk shirt and a long blue tie. I suppose she could have been a security guard sans blazer but as she was she just looked like a sore attempt at some sort of mannishly styled woman.

Please tell me if I dress like a mannishly styled woman (again). (However things like nice Ulysse-Nardin
Complications GMT Men's watches and other expensive white-gold with glowing blue gadget items don't count. Unless it's a glowing white gold athletic cup with digital read-out.

Open Letter

Inspired by my friend Taysha's open letter to Lindsay Lohan (and this odd little online letter for Bob Connolly) I have decided to write an open letter to television networks.

Dear Major Corporate Television Networks,

I am tired of your copycat ways! Be original! Watch a little cable and get a clue.

Signed,

Erin

(But seriously - I just saw a preview for "The Ghost Whisperer" which is just about the stupidest friggin' name for a show when "The Dog Whisperer" has already capitalized on the spoofy reference to the lame ass movie "The Horse Whisperer." Sorry - I really didn't like that movie. Not to mention... it looks just like MEDIUM... which is a good show! "How I Met Your Mother" does look cute... primarily because Alyson Hannigan is in it ... and Neil Patrick Harris is kinda funny in a non-Doogie way. But still... it looks like a half-breed Friends/Coupling. And Coupling in and of itself was a terrible copy of what was probably a good show for the BBC. "Close to Home" looks just like "Cold Case"... I mean ... it isn't... but still there are a lot of 30-something blonde female detectives. And I'm just so sick of law/crime and doctors. Meanwhile - cable is offering up a new show starring Mary-Louise Parker and Elizabeth Perkins as suburban moms who sell marijuana - called Weeds - http://www.sho.com/site/weeds/home.do. THIS... is a decent idea.)

(Though seeing Stockard Channing making a comedic sit-com turn this next season will be something to watch!)

Good ol' Mom!

My mother is a naysayer. She'll find the negative in every proposal/story/idea etc. But it can, at times, be quite humorous.

So last night this amazing thing happened which I probably shouldn't talk about via blog but let's just say that the Wicked synchronicity paid off big-time!

This morning I start to tell the story to my mother and, knowing that she'll immediately poke a hole in it, I preface the story with: "I don't know if it pays anything and frankly I don't care because the potential opportunity is too big."

So then I tell the story (which ends in "And so I'm going to meet this woman on Wednesday.")

My mother agrees with me that the story is amazing... fates really collided... and then she says:

Queen Barb: So you're going to this person's house?
Me: Yeah, I think it's her house.
Queen Barb: Not cool, Erin.
Me: Why? What do you mean?
Queen Barb: You're going to go to some stranger's house?
Me: Yeah... a lot of people work from their homes.
Queen Barb: This could be a rape scheme!

Ahhh... good ol' Mom!

Flowery

Flowers, in theory, are a good concept for "thoughtful" and pleasant little gifts. Personally I only think they're good for weddings and funerals.

I'm a rare conundrum. I like attention.... but third person attention. I'd like you to read all about Erin and talk about how wonderful Erin is ... but don't friggin' look at me! Flowers cause lookie-loo attention. Oh, horrible!

This particular flower-issue probably stems from high school. I'd met a guy online (surprise, surprise), an army seargent who was departing to whatever base the next day, and I'd spent a night selfishly bitching to him about how evil and slutty and mean and horrible and cruel a particular "friend" of mine was. Then in a moment of insight I decided to give him my high school's phone number and convinced him to call it the following day and leave a message in the office... maybe convince them to announce it over the PA's somehow. I dreamed a dream of "Lisa, the free clinic called and your test results were positive," coming out with the homeroom announcements.

Instead - Mr. Army Seargeant (his screenname was SARGE) called the school and got their address and then SENT ME ROSES... AT SCHOOL!! The school actually had a "no flowers accepted" policy but the flowery delivery guy just wandered onto the property and JUST HAPPENED to stop at my religion class door and asked "Does anyone know where I can find Erin L.?" I was MORTIFIED.

And then that evil bitch slut Lisa went around and started a rumor that the handwriting on the card looked like mine and therefore I must have sent the evil roses to myself! Because, of course, what man would send roses to Erin?

The note on the card, by the way, read "Thank you for last night! Love, Sarge" Idiot! (Apparently he was sending an honest thank you because I'd taken his mind off the fact that he was shipping off wherever.)

So - remember! Don't send flowers! Send a plant!

Starring the Fantabulous Erin

Got a call from friend Andy S. today... asking me to come be in her movie as a background extra and to please bring my dad. So I did and we drove on over the the trailer park in Santa Monica where we "acted" as white trash riff-raff in a one-minute episode of a 15 episode series that Andy S. plans to distribute to cell phone companies.

So I may soon be downloadable to a multimedia phone near you.

There was also an incident during filming involving an irate and inebriated woman who was blasting her car stereo while shouting to the neighbor (that asked her to turn it down), "Bitch, you need to get laid!" She later left and then came two more times blasting some Tom Jones and then some oldies while singing at the top of her lungs.

The disturbing part is that any and all heated altercations immediately cause Erin's adrenaline to pump. This then puts Erin in "fight" mode and I find myself approaching the inebriated irate stereo blaster wondering what the hell I'm going to do. The only thing that keeps me out of trouble is knowing that I'm not gonna win if fists fly.

Synchronicity

Since my days at WickedCoolStuff.... the synchronicity in daily life has been tougher to find.

Tonight, however, it was found!

Last Sunday I saw WICKED (fabulous fabulous fabulous!!!) (did I mention fabulous?)!

Tonight I went to a "Reprise!" show at the Ford ampitheater where they sang 3 songs from WICKED. (This isn't the synchronicity quite yet.)

Yesterday I was thinking about a male acquaintance, Josh P. On the table when I got home was a letter to my dad, handwritten, with the return address of Josh P. I thought "Now that's weird! I wonder if this is the same Josh P. Why would Josh P. be writing to my dad??" So I opened the letter which included a business card with a picture of my Josh P. on it. Turns out he is a realtor and he'd been around the area and had talked to my dad about potentially listing the house. The letter was a follow-up note. Now I'm gonna have to e-mail Josh P. and tell him about this.

After this phenomenon, I turned on the television and BRAM STOKER'S DRACULA was playing on one channel and ALIEN RESURRECTION on another. Two Winona movies on at the same time. I watched the end of AR and then I flipped to a channel where MY SO CALLED LIFE was starting (aahhh... the good old days of Angela and Jordan Catalano!) I noticed, as the credits ran by, the name Winnie Holzman. Now, wait a minute... didn't she write the book for WICKED (the musical)?

So... Winnie and Winona.... Winnie and Winona.... I'm thinking this means I'm going to "win" something. I have no idea how Josh P. plays into this. Maybe I'll win a house.

He gave good head!

I have been in El Monte petsitting for the last two weeks and now I don't know how I'm going to survive without that chihuahua, Mortimer, snuggling up with my head at night!

Phooey!

While there is still some hope for the Universal position, it appears as though the Audio/Visual hotel job has been lost.  I waited with bated breath but... nothing.  It has been a full week from the day I was supposed to hear so I'm no longer holding out any hope.

 

BUT IN THE MEAN TIME... Here's a picture of my cool new shoes.  (They are so very Erin.)

Universal Interview

Today I went for my two-part interview at Universal. My first stop was with the HR woman who went over my resume very briefly but spent most of her time coaching me about what to say and what to point out in the second part of the interview (which was going to be with the person I would be the assistant of). She explained the position and told me that the dude was rather quiet and needed to be drawn into conversation and that I should ask him about what he does, etc.

When I got to the guy he was a chatty fellow and the job was along the same lines but different than what HR lady had described it as.

As it turns out - the Universal job is in the New Media marketing section (so I'd be working with movie websites and movie art... which I LOVE), I'd be working in movies (which is obviously my life goal), is union and it starts at $37,000 (which is more than the A/V job).

Plus the guy was really nice and called me in special after he was done interviewing (he thought) because my resume was so great. (He said "I even put an exclamation point next to your name!" and told me after the interview that my variety of experience was so perfect and that he knew it would be great for other departments if it didn't work out for his.) (AND we went to the same college as did his boss so I think that gets me points.)

He expects to make decisions about who to call in for a second interview by next week.

Update on the Career Front

I'm thinking that job hunting is all about putting your resume online - shooting it off to about a hundred people and then just waiting for a few months.

Today I had my third interview with the Audio/Visual people (this was the all important job which required the hair cut and suit).
This job opportunity came about because the recruiter saw my Monster resume (on Monster). I've since had two phone screening interviews, a first
in-person interview with the recruiter in Long Beach, a second "interview" (which was really a tour of a hotel) in Pasadena, and my third with the three
regional heads today (again in Long Beach). It seems to be between me and two younger guys... we all have different backgrounds but I believe I have
the experience. WHO KNOWS? I should, by the end of this week.

I have another set of two interviews tomorrow (Wednesday) at Universal. Near as I can figure, this was a job I applied for on June 6th and they just called
me at the end of last week. (Maybe their first round of applicants sucked?)

This, in total, will make FOUR jobs that I've gotten as far as "interview" for.

The first was for an international trailer editing company (they were looking for a receptionist that would later promote to sales).

The second was for an exec-assistant position at a t-shirt company (which was headed by a former Xena actress... the reason I applied). (It would have
been weird if I worked as an assistant to someone I had the action figure of though.)

And the third was for the hotel A/V company and the fourth for Universal.

FATE, by the way, is gunning for the Universal job. I decided years ago that it was my fate to work for Universal because of the synchronicity of it all!
(Fried Green Tomatoes was made by Universal, the theme park hired me (and Dland didn't), my Hollywood Boss was the former head of Universal, my first temp
job was at Universal music...)

However... we shall see. Fate may wait.

Meanwhile I'm "homeless" - moved out of my apartment in Monrovia - currently house/petsitting for a chihuahua named Mortimer in El Monte. All my belongings
("most of" my belongings) are in storage in West L.A. I have a few scary roommate possibilities. Oldest friend Amy is having financial thoughts. I'm having
timing thoughts (if I get the A/V job... I might move out of California after three months.) A certain Turkish rap-star wants to live with me... and that's
just frightening... though he offers to share his groupies.

And that's the news on the E front.

An Era Has Ended

No more MEBL in Monrovia! :(

(But here's a goofy picture that our Mom & Pop moving company took: http://www.mover50.com/feed_back/FeedBack2/FeedBack052054.htm )

(And you should note that my ACTUAL customer quote was "You guys were HORRIBLY friendly and SICKENINGLY efficient" but I guess our mover head dude "forgot" what I said.)

Birth

Today I watched the Nicole Kidman movie "Birth." I've decided that this movie was in fact named "Birth" because it is chock full of the "pregnant pause." I'd venture to guess that 50% of this movie is silent as everybody reacts in dramatic pause to something that's just been said for a good 2-3 minutes each time.

There's a famous scene in ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO'S NEST where the camera stays in a close-up on Jack Nicholson for one full minute. I think BIRTH's goal was to beat this record.

Briefly the story is about Nicole's reaction to a 10 year old boy who shows up and says he's her dead husband reincarnated. It's like CHANCES ARE without the humor (and the creepy wrong ending).

So here's a recap of the movie:

10 Year Old Boy: "I'm Sean"

Nicole: "You're not Sean."



10 Year Old Boy: "I'm Sean."

Nicole: "No, you're not."

10 Year Old Boy: "I'm your husband. You're my wife."

911 In Plane Site

911 In Plane Site

Oh dear. I want to see this documentary.

Latest Vulva Puppets

Latest Vulva Puppets

(You've gotta see this.)

Chillin' like a Villian

I have an important job interview coming up this week. It was important enough (to me) to merit a new interview outfit (procured from THE GAP and the Juniors department of Robinsons-May... let me just tell you how excited I was to purchase items that FIT ME from THE GAP and the Juniors department of Robinsons-May.... I had to suck up my very pride to even walk into THE GAP and there found that I wasn't actually looked at funny AND found a friggin' shirt ... then... I was unstoppable and boldly pranced into the Juniors department of Robinson's May!)

Not only a new outfit but I decided I also needed new hair highlights (and a trim, more importantly, to get rid of my split ends).

You must understand (for the rest of this story)... that I was traumatized at a young age by a certain Asian hair-stylist in Santa Monica (who now has her own salon near the Third-Street Promenade). She was my grandmother's favorite stylist. Once, when I was in my grandmother's care and probably about 8 or 9 years old, she Shanghaied me into this salon where Shoo-Pin (what we will call her) listened to what my grandmother wanted and proceeded to comb out all of my cute little girl curls (she called them cow-licks) and gave me a boy-cut. (And for reasons beyond my understanding I was taken to Shoo-Pin on more than this one occasion. And my mother later chose Shoo-Pin as her personal stylist before finally realizing that Shoo never listened to her and she finally, only recently, escaped from this relationship.)

So I have a complex about hair-stylists and salons and for many many many many years avoided them at ALL costs and if I HAD to go I would actually go through some post-traumatic drama and tear up whenever in the shampoo sink. (My complex being that the stylist was not going to listen to what I wanted and was going to give me some horrible horrible haircut.)

BUT last year I conquered this fear and found a little salon in Monrovia where my stylist was more than helpful, listened to all my needs, made wonderful suggestions and gave me the best haircut I've ever had in my life. (I've since attempted to maintain it on my own which requires a lot of hair-care learning that I've never previously bothered to figure out.)

So I figured I'd go to "my" salon yesterday for this needed cut but found them to be unavailable. This put me into a downward emotional spiral as I realized that I was only going to be OKAY if MY stylist cut my hair and did my highlights!!! I could NOT get my highlights from some non-English-speaking-non-Erin-understanding person at SuperCuts or Fantastic Sams. What was I to do???? I decided to browse through a local mailer and found a coupon for a place on the cute little old-town street here. I called, they had availability, I went in. I figured they weren't a chain store and they were on the cute street so maybe they'd be OK.

Now Blanca seemed like a decent person but she gave me some big chunky too-light highlights, dyed dark the old decent highlights and gave me a trim that left me looking like a Super Mario mushroom.

In a panic I went home and found the hair dye I knew I had under the sink - Black Cherry - and applied it to all of the too too blonde-ish highlights. So now I have lots of purple streaks throughout my darker dark-brown hair and look like a Disney villianess.

Luckily my new outfit is a black suit with a purple blouse. (However, the at-ease summery professional thing I was attempting has now become psycho goth girl.)

(In Epilogue - I also apparently missed a whole section in the back, had to buy a new box of Black Cherry and re-dyed everything including the missed back portion.)

BEFORE:



AFTER:

Fixation Update

About two or three weeks ago a girl introduced herself to me on one of those social networking sites. I don't remember why or how we got on the topic but we began discussing chick singers (I think it was in response to that Anna Nalick "Breathe" song that I was obsessing over on aforementioned social networking site). So she decided that I also needed to learn of more new (to me) chick singers and she mailed me a 4 CD mix of music. Glee! I enjoy packages and music mixes even more! But now it was a challenge. Her fourth CD was all music that had "Rain" in the title so I decided her return mix must have a theme. I decided upon "Around the World" and chose songs such as "Walk Like An Egyptian," "Kokomo," "La Isla Bonita," "One Night in Bangkok," "That's the Night that the Lights Went Out in Georgia" and etc..

But NO... I couldn't end there! I also decided to see her Rain bet and Call (which is what I also, cleverly, titled this second mix). This next CD included hits like "Blame it on the Rain" (Milli Vanilli) and "Rain" (Madonna). (Both of which I was amazed she had overlooked to begin with).

So - the point is - CURRENT FIXATION: CD Theme Mixes

(I'm already planning my next one... "Songs That SO Made That Movie"... which will include titles such as "Take My Breath Away" by Berlin and "Invincible" by Pat Benatar.)

Photobucket

This is a test post from Photobucket.com

Long sleeves

I am no longer sportin' my flourescent pink arm bandages... though Miriam has deemed that I am required to wear long sleeves because the arm where the vein "blew" has this big horrible foul-looking bruise. Of course I took a picture. I shall spare you the picture. (Though if I know you I may show you in person.)

sheez

It's 4:38am. Miriam and I have just returned from a trip to 7-11 and then a re-route to AM-PM (because 7-11 didn't have the required energy drink). Miriam graduates from college tomorrow... unless I don't finish her final project tonight.

A note my cousin wrote me during the reunion. She's a smart girl. 

That's so Erin!

Donating blood at Cedars-Sinai is so stylish! Jump on my band-wagon.

Plus they give you a Coffee Bean certificate... (and if they can't find your vein either, they'll give you TWO AMC movie tickets - one for each arm!)

Dad's day

In honor of Father's Day I will now share the story of my conversation with my father last Friday night at Sizzler.

(First you must understand that my Dad finds fault with almost every human invention and thinks that it could be "better" or at least not "made wrong.")

Dad: I don't know why they have so many words. It doesn't make any sense. Some languages make sense but English doesn't. They should have just one word for each thing. And in other languages your pronunciation may mean your life.

(Erin smiles.)

Dad: No, I'm serious. I had a friend in college who went to Africa with one of the professors and had to learn the language of the bush men there. It was a series of clicks and whistles and sounds and the word for "friend" and the word for "enemy" was very similar. He could have been killed if he'd mis-pronounced it. They shouldn't have words like that! One word for each meaning is the way it should be!

Erin: So language was made wrong?

(Dad smiles at the inside joke.)

Dad: Yes! They should go through the Dictionary and pull out all the words that mean the same thing and just pick one and throw the rest out.

Erin: Don't you think it would be a lot easier if they started with the Thesaurus?

(This would have been funnier if I then hadn't had to explain what a Thesaurus was. Once I did explain it, he agreed. Use the Thesaurus, pick out one good word, throw the rest away - boom - no need to even have a Thesaurus!)

When I grow up...

... I want to be Libby Gelman-Waxner.

Here's another moment where I feel a little behind the times. But I shall explain...

At some point I realized that the only way I was going to read the magazines I subscribed to was to put them in the bathroom. Originally I had considered this something that was a little too trashy to do but then I realized the genius of it. Not only would I read the occasional article - but the magazine would get all warpy due to the humidity in the room and I would NOT want to keep it out of guilt and preservation. (I still have boxes full of old magazines that I intend to sell on eBay.)

SO.. I finally started reading my PREMIERE magazines and discovered Libby Gelman-Waxner's articles. They always look like something I'm going to glance over, finding the topic not particularly interesting, but I read and laugh and consider writing a letter to the editor to tell them to "keep this Libby chick!" Then I proceed to forget about her existence until the next time I stumble across another of her articles.

Today I laughed and brought the article to my computer to quote my favorite portion of her commentary on BEAUTY SHOP:

"Most of Latifah's employees are black, and whenever one of the stylists made an especially satisfying wisecrack, the audience yelled, "Girl!" This has become such a common response that I've started using it in bed when I have an orgasm, and my husband is very confused. When he asked me to stop calling him "girl," I just did three snaps and declared, "I will if I want, bitch!"

So then I googled Mrs. Gelman-Waxner and found out she has a book published full of her PREMIERE articles already! I'm behind! AND then I found out that she's a boy... named Paul... and he writes screenplays like IN & OUT. And I'm no longer sure how I feel.... about Paul.

Life's like an hour glass....

I'm in love again...

Cousin Update

Since Sunday my autistic second cousin has sent me several e-mails (I know she's a "second" cousin because of a "how to figure out what kind of relative you are" chart that they passed out). She's averaging about 3-4 e-mails a day which all generally say the same thing. Sometimes she just types the same thing over again (and its not cut and pasted because there are slight differences). Sometimes she recaps Sunday (i.e. "Remember when I sat next to you and when you helped me get my dinner?") Sometimes she just asks for my phone number (which I don't know how to avoid giving her since she's asking for it 3 times a day). Sometimes she e-mails the message to my mother or from her father's e-mail. I've even had e-mails come that she's sent to my great-aunt about me, who then forwarded it to my mother, who then forwarded it to me.

I have a stalker cousin.

Here's an example of an e-mail:

"Can you send me your phone number so I call you
sometime soon and here is mine if you want it I know
you want it xxx-xxx-xxxx call me sometime soon
and I will call you sometime soon okay you are so
my best friend right now seriously Erin you rock
my world and I love you so much and you love me too
I was very glad I got to sit with you at your table and I
didn't have to sit next to my annoying brother "

Why I Hate Kids

So I was in Jiffy Lube trying not to enjoy the two little kids that were playing (a little toe-headed boy, almost two according to his mom, and a little blonde girl (just two) according to her dad). They met in the Jiffy Lube waiting room. They immediately bonded. It was obvious they were destined to grow up and fall in love and later in heaven they would rewind to this chance meeting in the Jiffy Lube waiting room when they were two and BOUNCING.

The little boy thought bouncing and jumping would be a good idea so he started jumping up and down and giggling. The little girl thought this looked like fun so she started jumping up and down too. Then they jumped while watching each other jumping up and down. Then they laughed and showed their respective parents that they were jumping up and down. Then the little boy started snorting like a pig which made everybody giggle and the girl giggle... all while jumping up and down.

Then... the little girl attempted a sideways jump towards the direction of her father, landed with one foot on the other, tripped herself and fell over. Then there was that moment ... that pause.. when you don't know if the kid is going to stand up again and continue jumping or cry. She elected to scream-cry. She also looked at the happy little boy and screamed at him with utter hatred in her voice..

"WHY DID YOU DOOOO IT??!?!?!?"

More scream-crying. The little boy stood staring at her.. stunned... obviously thinking, "WTF?"

The little girl's dad said, "Honey, you did that all by yourself. He didn't do it." But I don't believe she was convinced. Then their friendship was over. Their destiny shattered. All because she fell that two feet to the floor.

Kids... they have that power to rip out your heart with their horrible horrible hatred and pain.

The little boy and his mom eventually left. She wouldn't look at him as he attempted to say good bye. She cheered up after she left and decided to harass the other mother in the room who was breast-feeding her baby.

I continued to pretend to read the local newspaper.

Poor Baby

I'm watching a little segment of Oprah where they are talking about a couple that met and got married out of their participation on Extreme Makeover. She had a big nose. He had a big nose and big ears. Now they're all fixed up, married and she's pregnant.

I hope they don't think their extreme make-overs will translate to their baby.... because it won't. They're gonna have a funky lookin' kid.

Weekend/Last Class

I spent the weekend in Buena Park at the "ABS" Reunion with family I've never met, family who aren't my family and family I knew. I met a few interesting "cousins," spent some interesting time with the obsessed autistic cousin and missed out on a few opportunities because I wasn't bold enough to introduce myself to other cousins. I have a few interesting stories about the weekend that I'll post later.

Monday night was the last Creative Writing class and I am saddened by my loss... this means I'll have no more looming assignment deadlines with which to finish stuff. I, of course, got an A. Strangely, one of the teacher's comments was that I was generous with my contributions to the class. If you had ever taken a class with me previously, you'd know that I never contribute in class. I always had those teachers that threatened to grade down if you didn't participate... but I never did and they never graded me down. So I called every teacher on their bluff. I figured... I'm getting an A anyway... if I get an A- I won't give a crud. BUT... they'd just add a comment to a paper or somehow suggest that they "wished I'd talk once in a while." BUT ... it all turned around this time and I did contribute in class. Mostly in the full class workshops in which my comments were mind-expanding and eye-opening! I contributed and I contributed amazingly! AND... I became well-known for my amazing comments on drafts and was thanked many times by various students for the plot holes I dug up and improvement suggestions I suggested. I should maybe consider a career in story-editing! (But not plain ol' editing because I CAN'T STAND ... CAN'T STAND ... peer-editing for language/grammar/punctuation.) (I was so frustrated, in fact, by Chemmy's latest draft of a vampire horror chapter in his sociopathic novella.. that I just wrote "This needs to be edited on a sentence by sentence basis" instead of making the language/grammar/punctuation marks on his paper.)

The teacher told us that he'd be taking a playwriting class this summer and that it might be fun if a few of us joined him. I'm thinking about it (and the Tony Awards were on on Sunday and I was thinking about playwriting so that's synchronicity!).

Discovery

Tonight I found Miriam's super secret website! She's hidden it from me all these years! The bitch!

Miam Sex Miam

FGT

My Fried Green Tomatoes message board now has 25 active members and (as of this moment) 535 posts. That's 24 new friends for Erin! ;) Yeah baby! I like fans.

OH and by the by - my completed FGT fanfiction short story from creative writing class is available for reading here: http://fgobsession.ravenwolfprods.com/weemsfanfiction.html

Testy

I mentioned "INTP" in a previous post ... which is my personality type... based on a slew of personality tests I've taken. INTP = Introvert Intuitive Thinker Perceiver (which means nothing to you unless you read the description).

BUT - I'm super interested in what YOU are (letter-wise) so I can look up our compatibility.

Take the test and let me know:

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes1.htm

Good quotes about INTP's:

"INTPs are pensive, analytical folks. They may venture so deeply into thought as to seem detached, and often actually are oblivious to the world around them. "

"INTPs are relatively easy-going and amenable to most anything until their principles are violated, about which they may become outspoken and inflexible. " (What Taysha calls "Tokey")

"A major concern for INTPs is the haunting sense of impending failure. They spend considerable time second-guessing themselves. The open-endedness (from Perceiving) conjoined with the need for competence (NT) is expressed in a sense that one's conclusion may well be met by an equally plausible alternative solution, and that, after all, one may very well have overlooked some critical bit of data." (Which is why I sometimes have a hellish time shopping.)

"The INTP is likely to be very shy when it comes to meeting new people." (The damn Social Anxiety Disorder study people do NOT call me back... it is apparently not my fate to do this study!)

"For this reason, INTPs are usually not in-tune with how people are feeling, and are not naturally well-equiped to meet the emotional needs of others. " (Also known as Erin's ability to 'not think before she speaks' and to "not be a shoulder to cry on.")

"If the INTP has not developed their Sensing side sufficiently, they may become unaware of their environment, and exhibit weakness in performing maintenance-type tasks, such as bill-paying and dressing appropriately. " (SHUT UP!! Bitches!)

"When given an environment which supports his creative genius and possible eccentricity, the INTP can accomplish truly remarkable things." ;)

Plus I think INTP's have big hair.... Einstein was an INTP.

Song stuck in my head

Do you ever get a song stuck in your head that you don't want to sing out loud? At the moment I have that "Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?" song stuck in here.... and I don't want to sing it out loud because I'm half expecting some ass to shout out "No!! God no!!!"

But here's another song I'm going to stick in my head instead:
http://www.ultrarecords.com/grandaddy/video/grandaddy-nature_anthem.mov

Update 4 - Mortimer & Molly

Last week I was invited to pet-sit for a friend of my godmother's who happens to live near me in El Monte. First of all.... I didn't know El Monte was so close to me. Second of all... this lady lives next to this huge lake park thing that I didn't know existed. There's a bike path at this lake that goes all the way to Long Beach.

Anyhoo... so I pet-sat for Mortimer, the chihuahua and Molly, the cat for a night and a day and fell in love with this lake park place (which is Mortimer's walking place). I ended up taking Mort for four walks just as an excuse. Two of these walks were at odd off-park hours in the dark or early morning light.... it was the perfect location for a gruesome Law & Order type of body discovery. I kept expecting Mort to sniff out a victim.

I'm considering writing a story about it.... but I may just have right now.

Cuz they're Cuzins!

I have a little cousin that is obsessed with me.

I've only met the girl once... when she was probably 12 or 13... and now she just luuuuuvvvvs me. (She's 15 now.) And the thing is .... she can't just be like a normal cousin that thinks I'm cool... no... actually she has some sort of autism or something that makes her especially clingy to people.

In a couple of weekends I will attend a family reunion in Buena Park. Now it's called "reunion" but 90% of the people I've never met. This is my mom's side of the family.

So Nic, the little cousin, has now sent me a few e-mails. I just got two, from two separate e-mail addresses. They read something like, "Erin this is your cousin. Are you going to the reunion? Please sit next to me." The other said, "Sit next to your cousin Nic at the reunion." The third one I got was actually the first, which she had sent a couple of months ago to my mom, which my mom had forwarded to me with a note "Do you know this person?" ... and I hadn't recognized the name at the time. That first e-mail read "Erin L. I miss you!"

ONCE.... I met her ONCE.

Again with the irony.... here I am... INTP personality.... don't like a lot of social interaction. And I'll be spending my reunion with the too clingy, too social, too chatty Nic.

And yes - I'm going to hell.

Update 3 - Writing Class

So Pleather finally sent me her story which she had requested I look over. And I did. And I gave it some excellent comments and things to work on. She was very appreciative of the time I put into it and the insights I gave her.

That night, however, was our workshop on our "free verse" poems.... essentially... poems with no rhyme or meter. Our new set gang of workshoppers gathered round to look at the poems (Sarah the pregnant girl, Chemmy the hard to understand guy, Will the novelist, Pleather and I). I had written two - one about Miriam's grandmother who has Alzheimers - the other based on my THE LIGHTS story (from 8th grade, later turned into college short film). We sort of tag-teamed in our comments on people's poems and then transitioned into someone else's. Pleather's was probably the best poem in the group... it was about masks that people wear... but there were references that I just didn't get to mythological creatures, etc. (Of course Will the novelist understood it... because he's Will the novelist.) The group talked about Pleather's poem second to last and yadda yadda its good yadda yadda. And then Pleather said, "I was worried it might be a little too high brow." To which I replied in my usual Erin thinks she's funny way, "It is. I didn't understand it." WHICH really was meant to be funny..... but not even I giggled because it came out so rude sounding.... She looked at me in shocked horror. My face remained defiant. She said, transitioning in, "Well I didn't really get yours." And then the other group members told me how they didn't get mine.... they didn't understand the narrative of the narrative poem.

Remember that scene in the movie BIG when John Heard is in the toy meeting and he's describing the buildings that turn into robots and Tom Hanks raises his hand and says, "I don't get it." And John Heard says, "Well, what's there not to get? They start out as skyscrapers and they turn into robots." .... then Tom Hanks proceeds to win over the boss's heart by telling the gathered meeting that skyscrapers that turned into robots were not any fun... why not make robots that turn into bugs..... then later John Heard bitches to Elizabeth Perkins about Tom whining in a mock voice, "I don't get it! I don't get it!"...

I was John Heard.

Since that night Pleather has sat on the opposite side of the room. I guess I'm no longer her bitch.

BUT .... in epilogue.... Monday night the teacher returned our iambic pentameter poems and announced to the class, "With the exception of Erin, none of you quite got it."

Update 2 - Bridges

Have I mentioned "Bridges" before (other than in the last post when I mentioned Emily - the 20 year old novelist)? I can't recall.

Back when I was doing the production for a Self Expression and Leadership Program (which was AFTER I was coaching... basically I was the setup, breakdown, pass out homework, make photocopies girl) I was invited to participate in one of the coach's projects. (As you may recall - in that class you create a community project - mine was the project for animal cancer awareness.... other projects included things like AIDS Lifecycle and St. Baldric's Day and the Revlon Run/Walk ... and etc.) Andy was/is her name (not to be confused with the Andy whose cat, Tova, is being babysat by my parents).

Andy's project, later named "Bridges," was a group meant to "bridge the gap" between older and younger lesbians. We've now had about 5 or 6 meetings (since February) and its actually pretty interesting. I, as some of you know, consider myself a little homophobic, (again with the irony!) so it was something I challenged myself to do. Interestingly enough - I get along just fine with the "over 40's"... but its the "under 40's" that make me all weird, quiet and socially anxious.

Anyhoo - I'm the official e-mail/communications captain for the group (and recently.. logo designer).

The day after the real-estate expo was our first "outing"... we went to a park, had a picnic, attempted to fly kites and threw around a softball. I learned how to catch with a mit... I can actually do that! And I swung the bat and hit quite a few of the pitches. (I'd only ever previously batted at a mini-golf batting cage once.) I'm learning to be appropriately gay!

This last weekend was supposed to be my first trip to a PRIDE event - Long Beach Pride. But at the last minute I chickened out and used the $20 admission fee as my excuse to not go.

However.... if Andy plays her cards (and applications) right... I may be IN the L.A. Pride parade marching next to her convertible and advertising "Bridges." Holy shit.

The other thing I've gotten out of Bridges is my writing-buddy, Cassandra. She's 70 something and we've been sending snippets of writings back and forth and working on some writing exercises together. We haven't actually worked out a method of buddy-ing though... so its just e-mails back and forth with no integrity held in check yet.

Surprise!

I changed the template to something a little more generic... so you can read it.

Update 1 - the Expo

A few weekends ago I attended the Learning Annex' Real Estate Expo. I figured it was something I was fated to do because I had just finished "reading" RICH DAD, POOR DAD and then I saw the ad which said the author was going to be at the expo. Looking at my ticket the night prior to my Saturday attendance (Thank you Leslie for my ticket!) ... I became convinced that it was not actually valid. The ticket had a coupon code and the note "be sure to register online at .... or by calling this number..." So I called the number and reached a recording which said that "All tickets are sold out.".... Er..... So I went to the website.. or tried to.. but it was down. When it finally came back up the page where I should have been able to enter the "coupon code" had the option grayed out and said "Sold Out."

SO I stayed up until all hours ... surfing, as per usual, on MySpace.

Then Saturday I awoke and thought - I won't forgive myself if I don't attempt this! So I went after all. But I had slept in so I didn't actually wake up, make this decision, drive and get there until about 2:30pm.

And I got in with no problem. But I had missed all the good seminars that I had wanted to attend.

I got there in time for an "Other People's Money" seminar but the room was overpacked and there was no way I was getting in.

The other thing about the expo is that I knew my friend Anna was going. Anna was my coach when I was coaching participants during a Self Expression and Leadership Program. She's about my age (a little older I guess) and she works for the L.A. Opera AND... as I learned during that program... she's trying to get into real estate (with NO MONEY DOWN and all that good jazz). Anna also had me create my financial budget and talk to my creditors, and etc. and basically had me get some good grips on my money situation. Not to mention she dealt with all of my Erin drama while I dealt with participant drama. And I just think she's hot shit all around.

So Anna told me to call her when I was there so I took the "can't get into this room" moment as the opportunity and went through to her voicemail. I decided to then check out the vendor room while I waited for the next available seminar - and then I ran into Anna on the way. So again... fate.

Anna and her boyfriend Derek were all pumped up after having attending the Tony Robbins seminar in the morning and they were wearing "Millionaire Mind" paraphernelia.. which is a 3 day intensive workshop about how to think like a millionaire which they had attended the previous weekend. They decided to drag me on their search for Starbucks (apparently there had been a run and all Starbucks was sold out in the convention center) and then told me they were taking me to the Millionaire Mind mini-seminar in the main hall. I still think that I was not technically supposed to be able to get into that seminar with my free ticket status but they had paid tickets so I just followed them and nobody kicked me out.

http://www.millionairemind.com/

The MM mini-sem was led by the creator, T. Harv Eker, who was quite the hyperactive little dude. He'd shout little things like, "Good or good?" or "True or True?" to get positive answers. He did have some great little insights which I noted down. However - the most interesting thing was that he wanted everybody to "think like millionaires" and had us stand up several times to tell our neighbors that they had a millionare mind. Anna and Derek - fresh from the intensive - were all about generating their participation so they'd jump and make the whole row excited with their enthusiasm. Thankfully, I was partnered with Anna so it wasn't so completely odd when we had to turn to our partner, high-five them, look them in the eye and shout, "YOU have a millionaire mind!!" OK so it was a little hokey but it was fun. Basically it was like Landmark education for money.

Some of the great insights from the mini-sem:

1) You can learn all the stuff from all the seminars and books but if you think like a poor person... you can only be poor.

2) Your life is made up from four parts - the Mental, the Emotional, the Spiritual and the Physical... and the Physical is like a print-out of what the other three parts are doing. (I.E. if you think small, you get small. If you feel dramatic, things show up as being dramatic. Etc.)

3) You need to reset your financial thermostat. The example is... if Trump loses a million - he's not going to flinch because his financial thermostat is set for the billions. If yours is set for the thousands or hundreds... then that is all you'll get. Like a thermostat that is set to 72 degrees.... if its colder it'll heat up the room to equal 72, if its hot it'll turn on the AC to get it down to 72... so the temp will always be slighty above 72, at 72 or slightly below 72. The trick is to set your financial thermostat UP UP UP.

4) Resetting your thermostat is a matter of evaluating what you've been taught about money and throwing it out the door. I.E. ... You likely heard things like "money doesn't grow on trees" or "if you want to buy that thing, get a job" as you grew up... which created your way of thinking about money. And its all just stories.

5) Take a look at what your default response is when you need money. For me - my default response seems to be somewhat positive in that I don't kill possibility immediately. "I don't have it but I can ask for it. Someone will give me money," is my natural reaction (from growing up a spoiled brat). (I'm sure my friends will notice this.... and think twice when next I say I don't have any money.... as you should!) HOWEVER - my natural response is also somewhat negative because I have disempowered myself... I can never have or create any money of my own because I always expect it from someone else.

6) Don't complain. People who complain about their situation can only create bad situations (go back to the mental + emotional + spiritual = physical equation).

T. Harv's other suggestion for life was to "bless" those people that have what you want rather than hate them or blame them or despise them. BECAUSE ... when you wish happy things on people, you'll get happy things in return. (This is just one of those elements of life that shows up in various religions in stuff... Wicca refers to it as the 3 times 3 - what you wish on others will come back to you 3 x 3 - so wish good things - do good magic. This is best exemplified in the movie THE CRAFT.)

(SO... if you read it.... this is why I wrote that little poem about "Bless Emily..." because I met her on the following day. She was a 20 year old that had already published a book at 19 and had several screenplays "being read by Hollywood" already. My first reaction was to hate her.... but I've been "blessing" her ever since instead.)

And of course T. Harv's final suggestion was to take the 3 day intensive Millionaire Mind course to re-program your thermostat. (It's like a $1200. course but Anna said she could hook me up with free tickets because you KNOW I want to reprogram myself.)

After the mini-sem ended Anna and Derek went off to prepare for the Trump seminar they would be attending and I finally visited all the vendors and entered all the free iPod contests. (Apparently the Las Vegas real estate market is booming- FYI.)

Irony

The irony is my blog. Here I am .... working on my writing.... and not writing in my blog.

'Tis a Merry Thing

I'm not going to read your poetry unless it rhymes. That being said - our first poetry assignment is "free verse" poetry (which is poetry with no meter and no formal style). We learned about "slant rhymes" and "assonance" and "alliteration" and "line breaks" and other fun grammatical things that I was apparently already using, for the assignment.

So for the hell of it I thought I'd blog some of my "rejected" free verse poetry (since I don't think these have the potential of winning any prizes and so I don't care if I "publish" them). So without further ado:

Tiger Stuff by Erin

The tiger was stuffed and
Wore a t-shirt to show off his
Affiliation with schools and pools
Of students bought him and
Showed him brief love before
Sharing him with parents and
Friends.


Bless by Erin

Emily Jamison – bless
Emily Jamison because
T. Harv Ecker the teacher
Said we should bless
Those who have what we want.


(This poem relates to my last weekend at the Real Estate Expo and the picnic I went to on Sunday.... which I have yet to post about.)


Baby Things by Erin

The baby’s bright eyes stared at blue eyes
Staring at lights on the wall sparkling
Reflections from baby things hanging
Over the crib. The dust
Had been cleaned off but the blue
Eyes wondered if there was any left,
Any small powder, or
Specks of skin, or
Eyelashes left over from the baby
Before.


The Obligatory Sexual Poem by Erin

The top comes off and behold
The body, the breasts, the hardening
Nipples and trace them with finger tips and
Tongue and caress the rest. The breast
Rises with breaths
And breaths
And
Breaths
And rest your head between them
And breathe.


THIS ONE IS MY FAVORITE rejected poem ------------>

Furry by Erin

Frostie fur got all over my clothes. You
Couldn’t wear dark clothes around her because
When you’d leave Mom would joke
“Did you sit on the dog?”
When I found a white hair on my
Shirt the other day I forgot it wasn’t
Her’s and then I cried for want of
A furry bottom.

(Sad yet funny)

16

16 jobs applied to so far today! (My goal is 10/week.... which is probably too low.)

I've got my fingers crossed for the copywriter for the gay adult film company!

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/wri/71299673.html

Pleather's e-mail

So last week I did e-mail Pleather Star my Snake story and included info on an online writing course and 'would she be interested in looking at/doing the exercises with me?' To which she never responded.

Last Wednesday she came to class and thanked me for the e-mail and then said, "Did I respond to it?"

Now I knew she hadn't but played nice and innocent and said, "I don't think so but if you did I just haven't gotten it yet."

Then she said, "Oh yeah I did."

And then I said, "Oh well it must have been sorted into my Spam folder."

Which it hadn't... because she'd never responded.

So screw my new "friend." My new writing buddy is a seventy year old lesbian lady named Cassandra. SHE joined the online writers group with me!

Though this Wednesday Pleather made nice again and asked me if she could e-mail me her finished 2500 word story because she hadn't yet turned a full finished version in and she really really respects my opinion and advice. And I said yes. So now I guess I'm her bitch.

Sportin'

This week I'm sportin' at least two bruises including one rather oddly placed one on the inside of my thumb from playing fake softball on Sunday. That's so butch!

Mr. Winky

My current fixation is this: ;)

The winking smiley! I'm putting Mr. Winky on almost every e-mail, every message, every comment on a blog/profile/guestbook/etc. He just seems to apply to everything whereas before I was never so bold as to *wink* in my text. Is it flirty? Is it sassy? I'm not sure.

Beyond that I've just discovered that my parents have something called "On Demand" cable WHICH means that I can't watch all of the Season 2 L-Word's in a row and actually get caught up to current! Unfortunately I've just figured this out in the last couple of days so I don't have as much time and can't explore the other On Demand things like Queer as Folk, Deadwood, and etc.

AliasPt2

I really like that "Punchy Wood Foot".... that could be good for something.

Alias

Erin's Aliases

Your movie star name: Marzipan Hal

Your fashion designer name is Erin Prague

Your socialite name is Airhead Boston

Your fly girl / guy name is E Lil

Your detective name is Wolf Notre Dame Academy

Your barfly name is Green Tea Pocky Stick Mudslide

Your soap opera name is Brenna Armacost

Your rock star name is Marzipan Monorail

Your star wars name is Erifro Lilsha

Your punk rock band name is The Punchy Wood Foot

The Amazing Meganame Generator

Yeah I know

So I have my first fan. Well, not my first fan but my first "writing" fan. Last Monday this girl, we'll call her Pleather Star, comes up to me at the beginning of class and starts telling me about how she's been in this really funky place because of this class and that she's e-mailed the teacher about her funky place and she's in a funky place about her story and also in a funky place because she's just quit smoking. She said she resolved that she would come to the first class after Spring Break (which was last Monday) and "make a friend." So I was the friend she decided to make. In the process of friend-making she told me about how much she *loved* my piece she'd read in the last workshop we'd done. (Which was the first workshop that she'd worked with me on.) (The piece, FYI, was an assignment in which we were to use the weather as an oppresive force that was also symbolical of the relationship between two characters. My story was about these two gay guys going through a sexual drought while there was a real drought happening in the desert city they lived in. Pleather Star loved the story because I used a lot of water words.) So I, of course, told her how much I loved her story about the "icy fog"... which I did in actuality. So we spent our chatter forming the mutual admiration society.

Then in class the teacher read some more pieces out loud - which is kept anonymous for the most part. During this section he read aloud a piece I'd written for the "character description" assignment in which I was writing as Lucifer, the snake, watching Adam being formed. (Here I think I'm incredibly clever because I was writing AS Lucifer while PHYSICALLY describing Adam and in turn CHARACTERISTICALLY describing God AND THEN telling you that Lucifer and God are TWINS so really I was PHYSICALLY describing all THREE of them and giving you PYSCHOLOGICAL insight into Lucifer!) (As I mentioned before... I'm still working on "dumbing it down.")

So ANYWAY - Pleather Star says that she really wants to workshop with me again so will I please sit with her on Wednesday when we are to workshop our 2500 word story.

Wednesday comes and I end up in a workshop group with Pleather Star (who smells heavily of smoke), the novelist (he's just so sickenly good at everything) and Chemmy (I'm calling him Chemmy because I have no idea what his real name is and we can't understand what he says because of his thick Chinese accent and apparent lock-jaw). (Also - Pleather can't stand working with Chemmy because his English is so bad and because everything he writes is sci fi or horror.... so he writes things like the "he prodded the hearth right before the Aborghoiabat monster broke along the door.") Then the teacher decided to join our group as well.

So Pleather reads my story (I'm actually writing a Fried Green Tomatoes fanfiction) which is in the voice of a 12 yr old, southern hobo girl and of course loves it and gushes about how she loves the "voice" and then talks to the teacher about it. The teacher agrees and says that he loved the Snake piece voice as well. Pleather then turned to me and said, "YOU WROTE THE SNAKE PIECE??" Um - yeah. "OH MY GOD - YOU'RE A LITERARY GENIUS!!"

Epilogue:
In the last half of the class the teacher asked for people to read aloud a page or two from the story so Pleather grabbed my paper and read MY two pages aloud. Then this last Monday she asked me if she could have a copy of the snake piece because she wants to frame it and give it to her friend that likes snakes. (Apparently she'd been looking for a prose snake-related piece for a while and she was thrilled to learn that I, her new friend, had written the one she'd liked.)

Just wait until we start poetry - I'll knock her socks off!

Current

Current Fixation for the Week:
WebJay

I created a "Lillis Fair" playlist titled after my unheard L.A. radio show: Sorosis

Have a listen if you're bored at work.

To answer comments:

1) Marble Match - I found it in MySpace's "Games" section along with a bunch of other Tetris/Bubble Puzzle type games which are loaded on the site. (But I can't stand Tetris because that involves geometry.) But you can also find it here: http://www.trygames.com

2) White Streak - Yes it is real. (Though actually the picture is a photoshop composition of two pictures of the white streak but all of the individual strands are real.)

Current Fixation 

White Streak .... 

Wednesday, Thursday, Friday

So I've been feeling like I've been wasting away the days... and I'm sick now and considering using that as an excuse. I haven't been sick in about two years so I do not think that it is any coincidence that I am suddenly flu-ish.

I managed to complete the entire season of the L Word and several movies so that should give you some hint as to how I've been slacking.

But on the other hand I've actually been doing my assigned tasks for every day and at the end of today I saw that I was a full week ahead in my Monster book. I mentioned previously that the Monster book suggested that the job search prep would take two weeks and I've actually just finished all the prep. So really I have been working really hard and thought I was behind.

So Wednesday I completed all of the documents in the "Job Portfolio" chapter AND I also completed my entire first draft of my short fiction story which is not due for another two weeks. Go me! Took a walk to 7-11 and bought Mac & Cheese and Chocolate Milk. No, actually that was Tuesday. Wednesday I just took a walk and made the mental note to wark when it is lighter out because the cockroaches make me squeamish. (Actually, they make me scream like a girl.) (Jobs Applied to: Zeeerooo)

Thursday was the "Create a Pitch" chapter. I finished half of that before falling into a coma on my couch and then waking up just in time to go to a presentation at World Group Financial (Monica's boyfriend's thingamajig). Later that night I convinced Miriam that she needed coffee and walked to 7-11 with her. I ended up not being able to fall asleep until 2 something and using half of a Tylenol PM to aid me in that much. (Its amazing how quickly I can slip back into my nightowl habits.) (Jobs Applied to: Two)

Friday I started out bummed because I didn't complete Thursday's chapter. Watched the last L word episode (while eating my one meal of Chef Boy.R.D) and am now left in cliffhanger-dom. Decided I couldn't stand my apartment anymore, packed up my school homework and Monster book and went to Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf. There I consumed a White Chocolate Dream Ice Blended and finished the Pitch chapter, the Resume chapter and the Cover letter chapter (putting me a day ahead). Then I went to do my school homework and realized there wasn't any so I went home. Then I walked a friggin' mile I think. Got home and read my new Strangers in Paradise comic book! Then I drafted and revamped my resume to make it Monster-style text and Monster-style "presentation." I still need to type up my "pitch" and "cover message" documents but its 1:40am now and I'm past the "reward yourself" period.
(Jobs Applied to: Zilch)

Job Hunting

I figured I could use this blog now as a resource to keep me to my word (to myself at least).

Realizing that my job hunting skills from my previous bout of unemployment (which was like a year and a half or more) were not going to work this time I've made some immediate determinations.

1) I'm going to ask for help. (Last time I was going to "do it all myself - leave me the frik alone!")
2) I'm going to make lists. (I hear this is useful for attention defecit folks... and I'm convinced I'm attention deficit.)
3) I'm going to do it as it was meant to be done (and use the rest of my Landmark "Performance Triangle" skills which I keep posted next to my desk).
4) I'm going to try and talk about my insecurities out loud to someone instead of just butchering myself on the inside.

So JoB hunting day 1 was Friday night (after the layoff). I'd actually sent out a couple of resumes during the day (after realizing my rent check had bounced and knowing I needed a new job that paid more) . That night I sent out a couple more. I also sent e-mails to friends and acquaintances to keep their eyes open for me. Jobs applied to - 4.

JoB hunting day 2 - Monday - I woke up and made a list of things to do that day. I planned out all the physical stuff for the morning (folding laundry, making beds) because I knew I'd piss my day away if I got on the computer. One of the things on my list to do was to read a chapter of my Monster.com Job Hunting book which I'd received as a free gift at about the time I started my last job. This will be my "doing it as it was meant to be done" guide. The book says it may take about two weeks to get everything in order before I can officially begin full force looking. Meanwhile I intend to look a little at least every day. I filed for unemployment. This will take a bit to kick in. I checked the e-mails from friends and was led to Countrywide and Target's sites. Both sites had nothing I could conceivably qualify for so nothing there. There are still a couple I need to follow up on. Per the Monster book I made a "jobs applied to" notebook. Jobs applied to - 0. Tasks completed - 21 (out of 24)

JoB hunting day 3 - Tuesday - I completed the Monster book's personal assessment quizzes today. All of them sorta led in the direction of "being a writer" as a career which probably means taking what they call a "Plan C" job. I also worked on my next Creative Writing assignment which is a 2500 word "character driven" story. I've decided to kill two birds with one stone. Bird 1) Character driven story; Bird 2) Fanfiction for my FGT site. Sooo my story is going to be about a hobo girl that is involved peripherally in the FGT story. I took a walk (and went to 7-11 because I wasn't really sure where to walk to). I watched two movies. I sent two notes to two former employers (including the last one) requesting reference letters for a "brag book" which the Monster book suggested. The Hollywood Boss sent me a notice asking me if I was available to help her with something. I hadn't told her about the layoff yet because I knew she was going through a tough time - her new boyfriend was dying of cancer. Well it turns out that he did die and she is planning a "celebration of life" and could use some support with that. This would be paying something I suppose but a little SAD! I'd do it for free since I have the time but I probably can't be that generous. Jobs applied to - 0. Tasks completed - 12 out of 14

SO I've been laid off

Anyone following the work blog will notice that I've been laid off (and I moved the work blog to avoid accidental discovery because I forgot to clear the history cache at "work" before I left on Friday). (The link on the right should be updated now.)

It was sudden news and I'm now sitting around wondering what the hell to do with myself....

Saturday night I was treated to many beverages and I became inebriated to the extent of actually throwing up. This was a first! Considering I'm 26 you'd think I might have had this experience before but alas... no. I was also inebriated to the extent of having fuzzy memories - also a first!

Here are some things I do remember:

1) Writing my name with pizza. (At the time it made sense - I wanted the people following me to the pizza box to know that the partially eaten piece of pizza was in fact - mine.) "Sleepy Boy" seemed very entertained.

2) Toppling into board games. (It was very hard to navigate between the people on the floor playing games... it was easy to lose my balance!)

3) Mango Chili Pop shat mango smelling poo. (????)

4) Apparently I was inadvertently mocking Wade's accent because he asked me where I was from. (This really would have happened anyway because I do slip into accents when talking to people... especially anything remotely southern... but I didn't realize I was doing it until he asked. Then he had a discussion about being south of the Mason Dixon line which I didn't quite follow... but that's because I'm stupid at geography and history.)

5) Blurting some things out that may still need explaining.

6) Going off to be alone like a cat waiting to die....

7) An amazingly short car ride to my parents house where I was dropped off by T without toiletries. (The "black bag" I was referring to, T, was in my car on the floor.)

But the thing I can't figure out is whey I found sand in my shoes the next morning. Any insight??


Sunday afternoon I spent with Marci by the pool of her new apartment complex in a new city called "South West Metro"... which is basically in Orange County...near Irvine (??) She remained in bikini while I, anti pool and sun, remained in jeans and t-shirt. (I didn't go swimming of course.) She informed me that I had to keep drinking but didn't enforce it. HOWEVER, it was hard not to because she had two groupies who kept chatting her up and offering us alcohol. She eventually caused drama when Eminem (groupie 1) fell in love with her and got upset because Tony (groupie 2) was paying too much attention to her. After Eminem left in a hissy we left and got mexican from a hole in the wall. We came back to play pool and of course Eminem and Tony were just WAITING for her to return to the complex social area. So I say I spent the afternoon with Marci but really I spent the afternoon with Eminem and Tony and Marci.

(Meanwhile Miriam drove to San Diego and the tire on my car blew and her aunt had to buy two new tires for my car which I will have to pay back with NO income.)

I'll need some money and fast!

*** "Sleepy Boy," "Wade," and "Mango Chili Pop" are characters that appear courtesy of Taysha's "Tea & Toast" blog.

Muse-ic

Ya wanna know what I play at work when its my turn to play the online radio?

Erin's Launch Station

Dumb it Down

Taysha pointed out that as far as the blog was concerned - I was still on Class 3 of Creative Writing.

Let's bring you up to speed then:

NON-FICTION/ESSAY:

Assignment 1: Pick an object out of the box and write what it leads you to write. I picked a Chinesy tassel thing and wrote about a diner in Chinatown in Boston. The goal was to give the teacher an idea of our style.

Assignment 2: Write a piece about an object of your choice that brings to mind a memory and try to use the object symbolically. Also try to play around with perspective. I wrote about a dog collar and putting my dog to sleep in 2nd Person.

Assignment 3: Write a description of a place using lots of descriptive adjectives and adverbs, invoking the senses, and as few "to be" verbs as possible. I wrote about my parent's backyard - describing it as a fantastic battlefield.

Essay Assignment 1: Write a 2000 word non-fiction essay of your choice involving memoir. There were several suggestions including writing about memories that aren't yours.. like your parents meeting... or something like that. Using quotes from my grandfather's journal I wrote an essay comparing my grandfather in his 20's to me in my 20's.

FICTION:

Assignment 4: Write a scene in which the weather is a force against two people or symbolic of the relationship between two people... generally - the weather affecting people in some way. I wrote about a gay couple living in a drought area... going through a sexual drought.

Assignment 5: Write a character description in a way that reveals the wants of a character and the forces or characters acting against them without stating it. I wrote a description of "Adam" told in the voice of "Lucifer" which serves to characteristically describe Lucifer and God.

WHICH IS WHERE WE ARE NOW (I don't know what number class it is anymore.)

So far the consensus is that I'm sometimes too vague and I'm getting the point that I should "dumb it down."

ALL of these pieces are still in a "workshop" draft - we're supposed to revise them all one last time for a final portfolio thingy later.

Excitable

Saturday Miriam came into the room and told me that she and Marci were planning on taking a walk to enjoy the nice day - did I want to come?

I looked at her confused thinking, "But its sunny out."

She saw my gloomy, cynical look and said, "You're coming! Get up!"

So the three of us walked to Starbucks (I squinted and furrowed the entire time). When we got there I ordered a Doppio Espresso con Panna (which is essentially a Starbucks "DoubleShot" but hot and not quite as sweet). Marci looked at my espresso and asked me, "Is that going to make you excited?"

"No, probably not."

"Is there anything that makes you excited?"

"I don't know."

So she looked to Miriam - "Miriam, does she get excited about anything??"

"No!"

So we spent the whole walk home trying to figure out if anything made me excited. (And by "excited" Marci meant something that makes one light up, act animatedly and smile.)

I came up with the following list of things that make me excited:

1) Talking about Disneyland (and other Disney parks)
2) Procurement of puppies

We concluded that the three of us needed to go to Disneyland because A) Marci claps and bounces and sings along with IT'S A SMALL WORLD and that should be fun to see AND B) Erin might get excited.

Payphone to 1-800-Cleo

So as T mentioned in her blog - we went to a psychic last Sunday. Carol (the psychic) told me, amongst other things, that I had a very long life-line and would likely live into my late 80's or 90's. This was BAD NEWS to me!! I'm supposed to die young!! This is my past-life pattern (determined by my several past-life regressions that I mostly did in high school with the assistance of a hypnotist on audio cassette) . (Strangely my mother brought this up the other day. After the psychic I took Marci over to meet Queen B. for the first time and I found them discussing it when I came back from the bathroom. Queen Barb is convinced that she bought the tapes for me. I was confused because I didn't even know she knew about the tapes! Hmmm... I suppose now I have to find them and lend them to her.)

ANYWAY... being the cynical-the-glass-is-not-only-half-empty-but-it-will-NEVER-be-full-again chick that I sometimes am... I've been thinking "Great! I'll live into 90 but I'll be crazy or homeless or in jail or stuck in a hospital with the nation battling over whether I can live or die!"

Poor Terri Schiavo! Can you belive the right-wingers or gonna vote MORE right-wing than Bush next time because of this... horrible news for us.

Yesterday I was getting my Smog Check at the new auto shop next to the mall and I got to browse in the Borders while I waited. I saw this book: http://www.sorryeverybody.com/
It was pretty funny...errr... or at least an interesting idea.

Dumb stupid!

After watching the strangely fulfilling Constantine movie with Marci last night... I returned home after my 10pm bedtime needing some dinner. I whipped up some Mac & Cheese with grilled and seasoned tuna and sat down in front of the telly to eat and watch something. The only thing on other than news was SPRING BREAK SHARK ATTACK and I figured... "Ahh what the hell! I have that whole morbid curiousity thing about it so I might as well check it out." SO I managed to catch the well-acted film right after Kathy Baker made some discovery about Mr. Bad Guy "chumming the reef" and the swarms of sharks were approaching.

Then they were there.... eating people in bikinis... panic ensued. But really... not enough panic people! A shark has just taken a chunk out of your gut - its not likely that you'll survive even though you've made it back to the beach. My favorite part was when the shark grabbed the kite-surfing guy out of the air!

I finished my Mac & Cheese by the commercial break and went to bed.

The eating before bed and the dumb stupid shark attack movie then caused me to have a disturbing dream about a child actor being interviewed on Jay Leno. Jay and the kid actor got into a pool of water with the Universal Studios jaws animatronic shark for some sort of bit. Then tragedy!! The kid got caught up in the workings and, ON LIVE TV, his head was pulled right off! Blood reddened the water and shot in the air. Mass confusion!

This woke me up somewhere in the middle of the night and the horrible image is still stuck in my head!

Class 3

Last night was class 3 of Creative Writing and the teacher announced that he was going to read some of the good first first assignments aloud.

My first thought was, "Oh God! He's gonna read mine!"
My second thought was, "God Erin! Ego much?"
My third thought was, "No...no...no... he'll just read the good ones and you'll then start to think that you suck and that there's just not even a point because you won't get that good."
Fourth thought, "Well that's a sucky thing to tell yourself Erin! That's not true... you'll just hear where the bar is and then you can surpass it."

Then he read mine aloud.

Fifth thought, "See - I knew it!! I'm totally psychic!"

More writing...

Monday I started Creative Writing class at PCC! I expected skinny girls with long soft sweaters and interesting hair. There were like 5 of them! What's with interesting hair and long sweaters? There was also the hard-edged t-shirt boy (who probably writes EXCELLENTLY from a little girl's perspective), a bunch of asians (its PCC!), some older folks taking the course for fun and a few "against-type" types.

Our first assignment was to take an object from a box and write what it led us to write... I ended up writing some drivel about Chinatown in Boston (I had some Chinesey curtain tassel) and that 24 hour diner that lived somewhere around there. (Though I considered writing something about T.)

Class 2 was Wednesday and the teacher lectured on whether or not there was a line between memoir and fiction which SO tied-in to my diner story-memoir-thing. The universe was aligned in that direction. I figure that whenever the universe aligns you know you're on the right path!

However - the universe was NOT aligned in my favor today as none of my alarms went off (OK so I apparently forgot to set 3 of them and the 4th "didn't take") and then I went and drove to work with my lunch sitting on the roof. I was looking forward to that lasagna!!!

Since I'm writing about writing... here's more of wot I writ:

http://www.wickedcoolstuff.com/buspacfi.html (For Leslie)
http://www.wickedcoolstuff.com/budavavaacfi.html
http://www.wickedcoolstuff.com/budaacfi.html
http://www.wickedcoolstuff.com/jowabucaho.html
http://www.wickedcoolstuff.com/jowalacahoti.html
http://www.wickedcoolstuff.com/inha.html
http://www.wickedcoolstuff.com/pejoecobucat.html
http://www.wickedcoolstuff.com/pelu1stlalab.html (T should buy this)

Iron-on patches coming soon!

2nd in the Series - "Glasses" - Last week for no particular reason my glasses frames just BROKE. Without enough money for an immediate Lenscrafters replacement I have had to wear the two pieces rubber-banded together which tends to cause snickering in the apartment.

New Series

I'm now presenting a new series in this blog called "That's So Erin!" This is the first in the series and its entitled "Ace Bandage."

Erin tends to get impatient and when impatient.. she tends to accidentally mess something up. In this case I was attempting to push the brand new, heavy ass, Ikea dresser against the wall. Pushing against the weak particle board, however, was not a splendid idea and I broke this "beam." I attempted to repair it with old wood glue, a ruler and an ace bandage to hold the ruler in place. Yeah... its still broken.

Things Wot I Writ

The direction I was given was "use as many keywords as possible" and "mention licensing" a lot!

http://store.yahoo.com/wickedcoolstuff/habupochma.html
http://store.yahoo.com/wickedcoolstuff/disneypatches.html (only the villains, Eeyore and Pooh)
http://store.yahoo.com/wickedcoolstuff/faguybadboym.html
http://store.yahoo.com/wickedcoolstuff/thsuwa.html
http://store.yahoo.com/wickedcoolstuff/anasgit.html (most of 'em)
http://store.yahoo.com/wickedcoolstuff/to80blta.html
http://store.yahoo.com/wickedcoolstuff/rohobigliblt.html
http://store.yahoo.com/wickedcoolstuff/arofdaacfi.html (any opportunity to mention Xena)
http://store.yahoo.com/wickedcoolstuff/susshmamebo.html

Things coming soon - Incredibles hats, John Wayne/Superman/Peanuts metal wallets, Spike and Darla action figures

Open For Business

Fried Green Obsession - 2.0

- Erin
"Office Gal"

 

---

Do you Yahoo!?
Yahoo! Search presents - Jib Jab's 'Second Term'

Fun With M's

Mandy Moore and Mary-Louise Parker!!! Hells yeah!!

Seussical

Yesterday I observed that talking with Leslie is rather like talking to a nursery rhyme.

Example:

Erin: Talking to you is like talking to Seuss.
Leslie: That's because I like to rhyme, its so sublime... and a good time.

And henceforth...

Lara Flynn Boyle is known to refer to herself as the LFB. I think I shall now call myself the EBL.

Lists

I have several lists that I occasionally refer to in conversation. These aren't actually lists that are written down but, rather, are stored in my head for access later. Some of them I only expect to access after I die (like my list of world mysteries that I'd like solved... what happened to Chandra... JonBenet...Nicole Simpson..etc.) but others are active. (I'm sure you've heard of "the list" that many people refer to...like "such and such celebrity is on my list"... I have one of those too.)

This is my short list of ancient/retired/old-fashioned/British phrases I'd like to incorporate into my daily vocabulary:

Fortnight - two weeks; 14 days
Example: It's been a fortnight since I've seen you last!

Tick - a second, short bit of time
Example: I won't be a tick!

(I'll add more later as I can't think of them all now.)

It all makes sense now!

I've decided Kelly's song, Miss Independent, is actually all about Monica.

See for yourself.

I faked it..

Happy Bunny Poker Chip Magnets

I looked up some Texas Hold'Em lingo for these descriptions... some of them are just a stretch... I really couldn't think of anything for the skull and crossbones one.

No but seriously...

Its sick...

I watched Tipping The Velvet last Monday.. episode 1 (its a three hour BBC miniseries). Tuesday I watched 2 & 3. Wednesday I watched my favorite bits again. Thursday I watched the whole 3 hours again. Friday I wasn't home so I spent work looking at Tipping the Velvet pictures (Rachael Stirling...etc.). Saturday I was volunteering at Landmark all day and doodling Tipping the Velvet-based doodles in spare moments. Saturday night I watched half of Ep. 1 again. Sunday morning I watched the full 3 hours again. Then I realized I could make it different by watching it with the subtitles on so I watched all the little english bits that I couldn't understand because of the heavy accent.

I spent yesterday in withdrawal TRYING very hard not to watch it but I wanted to VERY BAD.

I'm renting Triumph of Love via Blockbuster online... it should arrive tomorrow. Why? Because Rachael Stirling is in it dressing like a man again!

Yikes!

I believe John Coffee often referred to me as a "Supreme Bitch" or "Eleanor the Whore" or something equally fun like that in History of England class...

Take the quiz: "What Historic Woman Are You?"

Eleanor of Acquitaine
One of the first great queens of England, Eleanor was her own woman. She married the French prince at 14, but after six years of marriage and no son, she divorced him and secretly married the younger (and wealthier) heir to the English throne. Her sons were some of the greatest monarchs in English history! You must be tenacious, audacious, and brave if you're like Eleanor. Read more about her: http://www.womeninworldhistory.com/heroine2.html

Rating

Fixated much....

I spent most of my odd moments at work googling Rachael Stirling... (or I should say "ogling Rachael Stirling.")

Gah!

New fixation...

My latest actress on the cool actresses to like list is:

Rachael Stirling

... thanks to Jeff who occasionally informs me of who I should like next. He told me about Rachael over a year ago but I just caught up to his advice. Rachael Stirling is Diana Rigg's daughter (who's known by most as Emma Peel from the Avengers... but who is known by those of us ultra-cool people as Miss Hardbroom from The Worst Witch.)

OOh... here's a cool site I just googled that compares The Worst Witch to Harry Potter (using pix from the "good" Faruiza Balk/Tim Curry Worst Witch movie).

WW vs HP

Shameless friend plugs

So Val was just e-mail interviewed by an online mag:

Scene Missing Magazine Interview

(It's extra-great reading this article if you can imagine Val's voice in your head. I can because I used to be able to do a mean Val imitation. I don't mean "mean" like "Wow that's a cruel mockery of Val." Rather my intention is to convey a "mean" that is more like "Wow, Erin makes a mean Mac & Cheese!" (which I do... because I spice and grill the tuna).)

AND Fred got a blog:

Fred's blog

Patterns...

The pattern of last week was "old friends"... first up was a bridal shower for old boss (which I skipped...I had a good rain-based excuse) (but I'm going to the wedding reception). Second was friend from college down from San Fran ... was supposed to have dinner with her but that got postponed to lunch and then didn't happen. Third was Fred... who I got to see for mere moments but fun moments they were!

So maybe the actual pattern was avoidance... or "missin' out".

So far I think the pattern defining the "year" is "loss." I started out the year with a lost wallet. Last week my Verizon website disappeared... haven't figured that one out yet. Saturday I lost a whole harddrive worth of pictures and documents and etc. etc.... oh and my MP3's!!! Luckily I was able to recover everything from prior to August (always do backups... and don't be stupid and hit "Duplicate" when you mean "Backup"... cuz that's how I lost all my data). However... some things I've lost for good - the Miam Fan Club shirt graphics (and Zazzle won't sell the damn shirt to me because it somehow violates copyright) - the Xmas letter document (which I would still have in computer form had the Verizon site not disappeared mysteriously last week) and a whole website I'd made and was ready to soon unveil (as soon as the damn hosting service figured out I paid for more space than they were giving me).

Oy!

Lessons Learned...

In life we meet people that enhance our lives. Some people are those that are only there to teach us a life lesson. Some are people who are only there so that we can teach them a life lesson.

Marci (roomie) has just taught me her lesson...

"Always buy underwear and bras in matching sets and then

do your best to match them to your outer attire."

Poor Marci's eyes nearly bugged out of her head when Miriam and I informed her that I often don't even match my patterned socks.

Tsunami

Since I've had an irrational fear of tsunamis for a while now.. obviously the latest disaster affected me. I finally made my donation today! Woo! And it did "hurt my pocketbook" as they say so I feel even better. OK it was only $25... but that hurts my pocketbook. Sad.

THIS is BIG considering I never did ANYTHING after 9/11. I was stirred and provoked and emotionally affected and WANTED to do something... but NEVER did.

Dormin'

So per my "the world needs to be a big dorm" policy... I have invited a new roommate into my home. She moves in this weekend and we shall see how this works out. This means I have to share *MY* space! (And we all know how Erin's only child cave-space is meant to enclose only her.)

Yikes..........

Marci is the new roomie.. some of y'all met her at the Willy Wonka b-day party (if you know who I am and attended my Willy Wonka b-day party). She and her husband are testing the "separation" waters so she's gonna hole up with the MEBLs. (Miriam, by the by, thought it was rediculous that I even had to ask her if it was OK. Really I had to have a long heart to heart with myself about this "sharing." I never learned that concept in kindergarten as I was often off playing by myself.)

Unfortunately Marci knows the location of this blog. I don't know if she's ever been here but just in case... I can't bitch about her if she starts to bug me. I'M JUST KIDDING MARCI!! ;)

Princess Pattern

I'm realizing there is a pattern this year of "Princesses". Clare had a Princess Diaries birthday party with Princess party favors followed by a Princess tea. My co-worker keeps getting called "Princess" by her 4 year old son. My mother has befriended a woman with a dog named "Princess Kaylene." I befriended a girl who found out she was a Princess of Sierra Leone (while she was researching her adoption). My other friend just told me yesterday that she found out she was the "granddaughter of the second wife of the king of Thailand" which is a princess... we think. Also an adoption story. Well some of those items were a stretch for pattern but still!

dwindling...

I'm posting less because I'm no longer as fixated on the blog as I was... and it was Christmas and busy and stuff.

Meanwhile... yesterday I discovered the joys of Zazzle.com so that'll keep me occupied for a few days.

RE Comment

T - Under the pic of the lava lamp it says "lick to enlarge"

Miam - thank you for helping me.

Inappropriate for children

HAhahahhahaHA.... ha...

...breathe....

Superman Lava Lamp

(Look closely at the picture.)

(Quick before they fix it...)

What is this? Miriam's life?

4 days until Christmas.... *most* Christmas shopping is complete BUT not all! So of course I lost my wallet....

I'm now playing with this "Hello" program by Google. Seems fun. 

By the By

The everyday work stuff got moved to this new blog:

http://hellagoodloot.blogspot.com